Everglow | on hiatus.

everglow: fifteen

Harry steadies himself on the bed with his elbows and sits up a little bit. They're facing each other on the bed and the scented smoke from her incense surrounds them.

Nia stares at his beautiful open eyes, wondering when his heart will be that open. Harry stares at her innocent eyes and wonders if there's more to this.

They face each other and the whole world silently fades away as they shed off extra skin before themselves.

"The world hurt me," he starts.

"You can be a little specific because the world has hurt us all in many ways," she replies.

"What makes you think I'm that hurt though?" He clears his throat.

"It's in how you go out of your way to hide your true feelings. It's in your little defences here and there. And, it's in how you hold onto me when we sleep, like you're scared to lose me," she explains.

"Shit, I didn't know I still did that," he quickly says.

"Don't apologise. I like knowing you don't want to lose me, it makes me feel valued," she smiles at him.

"Of course, I value you," Harry frowns and avoids her stare.

"And it's also in how you instantly recoil into your shell when faced with vulnerability," she gestures at the present moment.

This is a moment where he feels caught.

"I wasn't raised around a lot of love and kindness. I was a very emotional child and I cried a lot, like an idiot," he gives a bitter chuckle.

"Don't say that, please," she says with concern.

"Right. Yeah, I was that kid that cried a lot and was super clingy but yeah it was never acknowledged," Harry clears his throat.

Nia is already uncomfortable at the thought of a little Harry just wanting to be loved and hugged but getting denied the basic emotional need of a child.

It makes her heart hurt and she tries to remain calm till he's done telling his own story.

"I lashed out as a teenager and started to demand for the love I never had. It was bad and I was diagnosed with severe anxiety before moving to London with my Jeff's family," he explains.

"Oh. You've always known him?" she asks.

"His family before him. I think they had a phase where they lived here before returning to the states but yeah I was interested in music, they noticed and took me in," he replies.

"Are you still in touch with your family?" Nia carefully asks.

Harry goes a little cold and gives her a blank stare.

"I have no family." He says.

"That's fair," she nods in understanding.

"I have chosen family and friends. I still don't know how to process emotions without feeling like a needy bitch," Harry chuckles.

"Harry...," she cautions.

"Yeah, sorry for the toxic language but can I express myself without the faux therapy mood?" he frowns.

"If you mean constantly dismissing your own self, no. I'm not sorry about that," she replies.

"I'm not dismissing myself. I'm just saying the truth, what's with the textbook words and shit?" he gets a little uncomfortable.

"You're doing it again. If you really want to deal with this, you'd notice when you retreat into that pattern and learn how to stop it," Nia points out, staring at him.