Smile [Ziall]

stay strong (imp. pls read)

Hey guys.

I honestly don't, I don't even know. I still have no idea how I will even get over this, but I do know that time will heal everything. Zayn wanted out, and how he's happy. As much as this hurts, him leaving hurts, I still have to keep in mind that Zayn's happiness matters the most.

Zayn will always be my sunshine. He was the one who I fell for first, because I could relate to him. We had the same ethnic background, his voice was my favorite, when he is happy I'm happy and when he's sad I want to kill a bitch. His nature and everything I could relate to so well. Yeah, I fell for him. And so this hurts like a bitch. It feels like I have a gaping hole in my gut and an anvil is resting on my chest. It hurts to realise that Zayn was hurting to much that he wanted out of what he loves to do so much. It really, really fucking hurts.

The three years I spent in this fandom had been the best three years of my life. I made so many great friends, had so many great experiences and five boys gave me such happiness that I never knew I could feel, and most of all I learnt that you can fall in love with people you have never met and they can save you better than anyone ever could.

If Zayn doesn't come back, they shouldn't continue as a four-piece either. I won't ever be the same. And we all know the boys won't be able to continue either. It hurts, but I feel like this is finally the end. July 23rd to March 18. Oh God.

But I'm not leaving the fandom, never. All of them are my sunshines and they need us more than anything right now. But we all know it's inevitable. There's no One Direction without Zayn. I'm still clinging to one last shred of hope I've left that maybe this too is one big rumor as the boys still have said nothing, and all we have gotten is a facebook post from management. Not a video, nothing.

But we have to accept reality as well. Zayn was stressed. He was pushed to his limits. He now wants a normal, stress free life. And as soon as we get over our shock, we have to support him and his decision. But he still owes us a twitcam or at least a goodbye video. Please, Zayn, just lessen the pain a little? Is that too much to ask?

And as for my books here, I will continue to include Zayn as a character in them because who says I can't?

But I won't be writing anything new anymore. That is, all the coming soon books I posted, I won't be starting them anymore and I put them up for sale. As soon as I'm back from hiatus I'll finish my incomplete books and then leave this site forever, but not delete this account of course.

The books I'll finish before I leave wattpad include We're on Fire, Alive, How to Act Gay, Talking to Louis, Beanie and Smile. That's it.

One, because my studies are getting tougher and tougher and I have less and less time to write. And two, I don't think I can ever write about One Direction with the same mindset and enthusiasm ever again. And 1D are what got me into writing.

And so my lovely and strong fellow Directioners, we need to stay strong right now. For ourselves, for each other and for the boys. Let's pray Zayn comes back happy and stress free after a long hiatus, and they are back in action again for their new album. That, or we all recover soon and this gets easier for us.

(Posted this same message in all my other books)

~Ramie xx