On the Ice

deep conversations

D- that was a year ago Dean! it's a year later an I got attached, so what!

De- you know what happens when you get attached!

D- Dean I'm literally fine, stop worrying so much!

he shook his head an headed towards my door but stopped once he opened it

De- Julie told me by the way, thought you should know.

he walked out after saying that, I laid back onto my bed with a groan not wanting to deal with this shit at the moment.

A- can't escape drama huh?

D- nope it's everywhere.. I already know this year is gonna be full of it because of Julie an Rick..

A- speaking of him, if you don't mind me asking did you two ever do stuff together? I know I shouldn't ask but my minds over thinks this stuff

D- nothing happened between Rick an I, we were never alone.. I promise Banks nothing went down with him 

he nodded an let out a breath before rolling over on his side so that he was looking at me 

D- what about you? anything happen with Maddie or any of the other girls?

A- nope, Maddie tried to talk to me while you were away an I walked past her. Julie I don't talk to her anymore an Connie only talk to her when we are at practice because I had no one else to really speak to besides the guys

I smiled at him as he placed his hand on my cheek an used his thumb to rub it (that sounded bad, I'm sorry =))

there was a knock on the door making me roll my eyes an get up while Adam sat up, I opened my door and saw this lady standing there with Bombay

Bo- Dakota this is Fiona, she will be your therapist while you are here at Eden.

F- hi Dakota! it's so lovely to meet you, mind if we chat a bit

I nodded an she came in while Bombay said his goodbyes, I shut the door an took a seat on my bed while she sat at my desk chair facing me. she looked at Adam with a smile 

D- I won't talk unless he's here, his names Adam 

she looked at me an nodded

F- that's 100% okay with me, as long as your comfortable. mind if i ask questions?

i nodded so she started to ask

F- so your anger, I heard it started up again when your dad came into contact again is that right?

D- yeah it is..

F- were you always angry when he was around?

D- yes.

F- an why's that?

D- because he makes me mad, he tries to be the parent when he hasn't been there to be one.

F- so you have a grudge on him for joining the military?

D- if that's what you want to call it, he chose to leave an made it pretty clear that he only left because of me.

F- has he told you that?

I nodded an started fiddling with my fingers which Adam noticed so he sat next to me an held my hand rubbing circles into it with his thumb like he did with my face

F- do you hate your brother Dean?

I looked at her like she was stupid

D- no of course not

F- but you hurt him, is there a reason why?

D- I don't hurt him because I hate him, we get into fights and it just happens.

F- so you hurt him? do you enjoy hurting him?

I glared at her starting to squeeze Adam's hand as my anger an annoyance towards her grew

D- of course I don't enjoy it, he's my brother why would I like something like that?!

F- I'm only asking the question so that I can get to know you is all

D- why would you need to know this stuff?! you know what I'm done talking.

i got up letting go of Adam's hand an heading to the bathroom

F- Dakota where you going?

D- away from you!

I opened the bathroom door an walked in slamming it, I waited until I heard the front door open an close before someone knocked on the bathroom door

??- D it's me, can you open up?

I sighed an opened the bathroom door seeing Adam standing there

A- you okay? you seemed pretty pissed

I nodded but he shook his head pulling me into a hug

A- no need to lie, it's okay not to be okay you know?

I started to tear up when i heard those words 

D- I hate her! I hate her already an I just met her!

A- why do you hate her?

D- all her stupid fucking questions! i don't enjoy hurting Dean! why would I!? he's the only one besides you an my mom that actually was there for me! I agreed to do this stupid shit to fix myself not be integrated by her!

A- fix yourself? D there's nothing that needs to be fixed.. having you talk about your anger isn't to fix you because you aren't broken so you don't need to be fix! you are you D! you aren't a broken doll that needs fixing, you are fine just the way you are!

I just hugged him tighter as those words left his mouth, he's right and I know that but I can't help myself when I doubt what he says..