The 8th Wish

CHAPTER 1: The List

               By the way, I have a brain tumor that, well, leads to brain cancer and that's what makes it all hard for me. It is like I have the whole world on my shoulders. I know that it is an exaggerated description but you get the picture. I discovered that I had this illness just a month ago. I have been experiencing this sudden pain in my head for the last eight months but I don't have a single idea of what was going on. I thought it was all just some plain migraine, it does happens to everyone. But as the days grew closer, the pain just kept on getting greater that I couldn't take it anymore. One time, while I was walking down the stairs from one of the buildings in our school, I felt this sudden shock and everything went black. It was completely dark and the last thing I knew was I was lying down on a hospital bed. Everyone in my class was there with sad looks on their faces. I don’t even know why they were there in the first place. No one really cared for me. I am guessing that they are just doing that so they have a reason to skip class. High school students loves cutting classes. Why study when you can just go with your friends, play billiards and card games. Unfortunately in my case, I have no friends so what’s the point of skipping classes? My classmates said that as I was walking, I suddenly tripped, fell down and kept on claiming that my head hurts until I lose consciousness. The school then decided to take me to the nearby hospital for further assessment on my health condition. Our school clinic was useless by the way. It was a horrible place and again, some students pretended to be sick just so they could lay down and take a rest on their hard wooden beds. I tried it once but I felt worse. I couldn’t try lying down on their bed without any foam. It was sickening. So together with mom, they took me to St. Luke’s Medical Hospital. When I didn't woke up for the last five hours, the hospital turned me to the MRI section to examine my head because they think that I could have had internal bleeding or that sort of thing. To their surprise, they found out that I have a brain cancer. When I learned about it, I felt plain. It was like listening to a normal conversation. No emotions given. But after everyone was gone and there was only me and the doctor left, I felt a sudden urge to go back to school. I can feel that something terrible is coming down my way. He then told me the most painful thing I have ever heard in my whole life: If your condition doesn't change in the next four months, I am sorry. You only have a year left to live.

               The countdown has already started ever since the doctor said those words to me. For me, that one year is long enough to fulfill all of my aspirations and dreams. Not everyone is given the chance to live that long especially with the illness like this. Many have tried to persuade me to take chemotherapy sessions but I never found that helpful. It is more painful since it is slowly killing you away. Just the thought of getting bald freaks me out. I can’t imagine myself with no hair. Every time we would have family gatherings, my cousins would tell me how they envy my hair. What products do I use and what do I do to maintain such asset of mine. So losing it would definitely took away my confidence and self-esteem although I don’t think I have them. Also, some may have survived due to this but in my case, there is a slim chance of survival. My aunt who is very healthy wasn’t able to recover from the operation so how could a seventeen year old like me could? I mean, it was just all impossible to me. The tumor is already large and is taking up too much space on my head. I have even thought that after some time, it would grow large enough for my head to burst out like a balloon, with my brain parts scattered everywhere and blood splatters on the walls painting them deep red. I know it sounds gross, but that’s what my mind thinks. To be honest, it does hurts a lot and mind you, it was very painful but the ache it gives me reminds me how much longer I will be able to live. To cope with this change in my life, I have made a promise to myself – written in a small notebook that I carry always to remind me of these things –, that I shall fulfill these seven wishes of mine before I die. This idea may sound awkward and cheesy which is contrary to what I really believe and try to live in but it is the least I can do to relieve myself of this sickness that is silently taking me away from living a normal life. I have seen a lot of people doing these kind of things especially in movies and I know some may think of me as another “wannabe” or whatever but this time, I know it’s worth a try. I have nothing else to lose anyway. Might as well try to do what they always say: live life to the fullest. Okay, that was cheesy.