corporate affairs [Niall Horan AU]

T W E N T Y

His hands crawl up and down Gillian's thighs roughly and he remembers the man he used to be before she came into his life and turned him into a weak little boy. Gillian turns around to smile at him, and for a moment his heart constricts because he was expecting a different face.

"Let's get absolutely sloshed tonight, eh, darlin'?"

And they do. One of Niall's friends is hooked up with all sorts of Happy Pills that Gillian serves to him with her tongue. The alcohol only intensifies the high and soon enough the world is melting and churning, like an upset stomach. There's a shaky edge to his vision and there's multiple sets of the same twins tonight--along with at least four Gillian's, all who loose their shirt on top the same table in a drunken striptease to some Beyonce song.

They eventually retire to a hotel suite around two in the morning where the party continues. More drinking, more Happy Pills, until he can't even remember the haunting angel face in his dreams, all he can do is shag Gillian and any model that dances with him, feeling weightless and restless.

He wakes up hours later to a giant hotel room full of people both dressed and naked, sprawled out in clusters all over the room. Gillian's half clothed body lies beside him, and a few voices and the distant sound of music could be heard. He groans as he gets up, his head feeling like it had been split down the middle. He shuffles from beneath all the people on the bed and grabs a half full bottle of Smirnoff from the nightstand beside the bed, navigating his way through the bodies of drunken, drugged, passed out people. He makes his way to the bathroom, where he manages to make it to the toilet before puking up all his dinner, lunch, and breakfast. His already skinny legs were even skinnier, only further indication of how bad he's feeling inside.

He sits down beside the toilet, panting. He remembers the small club in Mullingar that Elouise had thrown up outside of and he smiles a bit. At least she could be cute vomiting. Had he ever told her she was really cute when she vomited? No? He didn't think he had. He pulls out his phone and dials her number, his thoughts clear. If he wants Elouise back, he'll have to tell her all the things he likes about her. There are a lot. He likes the way she pukes, for one. He likes the way she says his name during sex. He likes when she gets offended by Mr. Jones's comments and replies with something super cutting and witty. He likes how she cries at sad commercials and sad songs. He likes how she never has her shit together. He likes her intolerance for alcohol and her obsession with hopeless cases, things almost despaired of. She's the patron St. Jude of the modern world--leading the hopeless with her own hopeless missions--loving him, for starters.

Why is she abandoning him? His hand shook as he waited for her to answer. His throat was cleanched up and his knuckles were white from gripping the phone so tight, but he didn't care. He was a hopeless cause in search of his St. Jude tonight. Why did he have to wait until now to realize it though? The call goes to straight to her generic voicemail and his breath catches in his throat. With the dams of his emotional walls torn down the final concrete weight of her depature catches up to him and he pounds his fist against the wall, but weakly due to the drugs. It doesn't even make a dent in the wall but he pounds away. It had always been there, the weight of her on his heart, God, it had always been there. But he was too scared, too lost, too afraid of the storms in her eyes to even tempt fate. And while he could be comfortable in the chaos in the he created with his parties and his money, she created chaos in a different, more frightening way. She created chaos with her love and her emotion and her humanity and her small touches and meaningful expressions.

And now she was out getting love from men who really knew her worth, of men who would always listen and mean it when they put a ring on her finger. Men who wouldn't risk her love for the loyalty of a company and for the same control. Men who would take a risk on their hearts but never on hers. She was out dancing away her troubles and he was puking in a dirty hotel bathroom and playing to the only Saint that might help him now. Oh how the roles have been reversed.

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really short because it's just a filler, sorry! the next chapter is going to be like this as well only focusing on how elouise is handling the break-up! how do you think this is going?!

thank you all for commenting/voting on the last chapter!!! CA is earning more reads and votes and it is making me super happy!!!! thank you so so much!!!

ps. st. jude wasn't going to be the song of this chapter (it was actually going to be troye sivan's happy little pill) until i wrote the little bit about St. Jude and then googled him to make sure I was getting it right (lol) and found Florence's song and I almost died. What an amazing song and how perfect for Elouise and Niall at the moment!!!

most imporant lyrics: And I'm learning, so I'm leaving / And even though I'm grieving / I'm trying to find the meaning / Let loss reveal it /

what are your thoughts? let me know! i love you all!!!!

xoxo mads