Pick Up The Pieces

Confess

A dense weight was pressing on Kotetsu hips and a strange noise was filling the air around him. It's sounded familiar, whatever it was. Perhaps a voice calling to him? It was possible. As he slowly creeped out of the darkness, the deep watery noise became clear as it formed itself into words.

'...Tets...Kotetsu...

...

...

...

Tets I need you... Right now...'

Through the swampy fog in his brain, Kotetsu was slowly coming back to his senses, but it was just in time to see Izumo's figure bent over him, hands shaking his shoulders just to try and wake him up. It was only by coincidence that his face was a few inches away at this point in time. He had noticed Kotetsu's eyes beginning to open and he was checking for dilation of the pupils. Kotetsu, however, believed it to be for an entirely different reason and scrambled out from underneath Izumo's toned body. He huddled in the corner of the booth, hugging his knees to his chest avoiding his crotch from view since his nether regions had been unfaithful and he was sporting a stoic member now.

He felt as if he could cry, but that would make the situation even more awkward than what it already was, so he swallowed his tears and simply stared.

'Kotetsu, are you alright?' Izumo pressed, reaching out his hand to brace the trembling man before him but his hand was slapped away.

'Don't touch me.' He whispered, avoiding his eyes.

'Tets-'

'Don't touch me!'

In a flash, he was on his feet and leapt out over the counter and sprinted away, ignoring his friends pleads to return. Befuddled and hurt, Izumo slumped back into the chair, his mind reeling and trying to comprehend what just happened and why the sudden change in mood. He had no choice but to finish the shift and cover both of their duties with waning attention due to his mind having run off with his raven-haired friend.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-x

Laden in a thick quilt, Kotetsu sat on his bed with a steaming tea in his hands. His first instinct was to raid his cupboard again but after he rummaged through the variety of liqueurs and elixirs, nothing called to him, especially since he had vomited again so tea was his safest option aside from water. A sniffle and he angrily wiped away the tears that were welling up in his eyes. His insides felt colder than ice, his stomach dropped and he it was twisted into a sever knot that left him aching painfully.

Since he had bolted from his job earlier, he knew that there would be repercussions for abandoning his post, but if he pleaded to the Hokage his situation perhaps, just perhaps, Naruto would spare it just this once. He had done nothing but prepare his beverage and curl up in a ball on the squishy mattress; a vain attempt at consoling his shaken nerves and eliminating the thought from his mind. It was now that he knew where he stood: he had feelings for his partner that he neither understood nor desired. Feeling helpless and defeated, he jumped to the conclusion that he would have no chance, even if he wanted it. Sadly, he buried his tears in the hot tea as he sipped, ignoring any chance of stemming the rivers from his eyes. He sniffled and hugged his quilt tighter, wishing he could turn back time and rethink his decision about drinking away his feelings because clearly, the answer wasn't at the bottom of a sake bottle. Or four.

Wouldn't it be better to just clear the air between them before it became messy and much worse than it already was? Sure, you can run out on a friend, but you only let it happen once in your life, and he had used his only opportunity. What a pointless time to use it. Why couldn't he just tell Izumo how he felt? Oh, that's right. Homosexual relationships in the village are frowned upon, unusual and in a sense, taboo. Claim you're anything but 'straight' and you'll be glared at, turned away and even whispered about. Truly, that's a worse situation then death. This was probably the reasoning behind all of Kotetsu's angst and sadness; the fact that even if he were to admit to himself that yes, this is what he wants, it'd have to be secret, in the shadows; away from the prying eyes of the villagers and other nin. It may as well not exist.

Hours trickled by and he found solace in staring at the wall, only now noticing how many intricate patterns and swirls in the wooden panels there were. Occasionally the silence was broken by the twittering of a bird or the sip of his tea; though majority of the time it was spent in a pressing silence as the sun slowly descended in the sky; its amber rays melting into the wooden bedroom through a slit in the curtain. Kotetsu watched it move along the floor; a single golden ream snaking across the floor as the sun dropped lower and lower. His thick eyes drooped lightly as he sat, his eyes finally dry but tinted red around the rims from his salty tears. A shadow broke the sunset, causing him to look up and his heart caught in his throat.

'Can I come in?' Izumo asked softly, crouching on the balcony outside, afraid to enter like he normally would. A small nod and he slipped in through the open window and stood against the wall, observing the shaken, pale chūnin before him. It was sickly just to look at him, and his own stomach twisted.

'What's going on Tets?' He pressed, deciding that beating around the bush was not an option. 'And cut the lies this time. That wasn't due to lack of sleep.'

Kotetsu avoided the pair of eyes scanning over him, almost burning into his skin which every glance.

'Would you stop looking at me like that?' he said, a small fire of anger being stoked to life.

'Not until you tell me what the hell's going on with you.'

'Why do you care so much about me?!'

'Because I always have Kotetsu! Why should now be any different?!'

'Because I'm different, Izumo!' he blurted out, unable to stop the words from falling from his mouth. He lifted his gaze from the inside of his mug and stared at the other chūnin, fear laced in his eyes. They pleaded for help, for understanding and above all, to be noticed. Kotetsu felt like he was dying on the inside, but now was the opportunity and if he didn't grab it with both hands, it would disappear.

'What do you mean "you're different"?' Izumo scoffed, taking a step closer to him, shaking his head as the other man tried to scramble away further, succeeding in backing himself into the headboard.

'Everyone is different, Kotetsu. That's the point of being human, dumbass.'

'You...you don't understand...'

'Try me! It's why I covered your shift yet again and why I'm here in the first place!' A look of hurt flickered over Izumo's face.

'I thought you trusted me...'

'I...I do, just-'

'Then what the fuck's going on?!'

'I think I'm in love with you!'