Star Struck: ends of a preface (book 1)

Chapter 32

"Was it Melissa?" I asked.

Rigel stared.

"Was it Melissa?" I shouted this time.

"No, it wasn't her," he said.

I was relieved for a small second. That means I won't be mad at them. They're not at fault. Beth, she's not winded up into this.

Even though I know that any kid of any mistress Dad had won't be blamed, any anger I had would still be directed at them, whether I like it or not. And I don't want that.

"It was a different person. Melissa did not meet your Dad until a year later, just when the mistress decided that she didn't want to associate herself as a secret third party to anyone. By then, news about your mom have already spread and she probably didn't want to start any rumors."

But to me, what that woman wanted and what she didn't matter. I don't care what her name was. I just want to make sure that she exists, that she's not made up, that I'm not dreaming and to check whether I know her at all. Have I passed by her once in my shaded life? Have we ever talked before?

I was lying to myself, that was the only truth in this. I care. I care so much that I wanted to know everything about her!

"Who was she, Rigel?"

"I don't know, Becca," he said. "No one does."

That was wrong, and another lie. Of course, someone knows. Dad does.

"I need to find him." I got up on my feet only to have Rigel catch me before I fall yet again. I was feeling a lot better compared to the state I was in when I hurt myself, but my legs still felt like jelly as I stood.

But I was stubborn. I didn't want to admit that I was weak. What I wanted to Rigel to know was that I was angry. Frankly, he knows both.

"Let go," I said.

"You're not strong enough. You won't make it halfway in the woods."

"I don't care!"

"You'll collapse and I wouldn't be able to help you."

"I said I don't care!"

"I wouldn't be able to help you," he repeated, to which I chose not to reply this time. "I have to go, Becca. I need to leave."

That caught my attention. "What do you mean by that?"

Rigel's eyes were rimmed with tears, their shining emerald hue betraying the trying smile on his face.

He didn't answer me. Again.

As anger subsided, my heart was emptied, replace then by a growing anxiety. It'll be like that night, repeating in my head.

But I didn't get to call for Mom when she left. I can still make a difference now. I have to.

"Are you going home? When? Like right now?" He nodded. A yes. "You're from somewhere out of this island right? Far from this town? Come on Rigel, it's too early to take a boat from here. You need to pack. You need money and your stuff and your—your bills! You still haven't paid me for that damage you did to my wall!"

I kept on with everything I could remember so that I could hold him back. I won't give up. I won't stop believing that I can't stop him, or anyone else from leaving me this time. No, I don't want to be alone anymore.

"You won't be alone, Becca. You'll have someone this time."

"You don't know that," I said. "You won't be here to know that!"

I swear Mom could've said those same things to me. She'd be the kind of person to tell me so, and that I'd have to be strong. But look where I end up. Was left alone—am still alone. I don't want to be like that anymore!