No Going Back (Nyck de Vries X OC)

Trouble in Paris

It is the day after the first free practice and I have mixed emotions about the event. It is due to the fact that my feeling of dread from yesterday is back. The thing is there is nothing that I can do except do my best. I am hoping that I will be able to at least get into the Superpole shootout. That is my only goal unless I am next to Jean-Eric. Right now I am getting a pep talk from my dad. He seems adamant that I am going to do well.

"Look, dad, you don't need to worry. I have goals," I say. That means I will do the best that I can with the car.

"I'm just saying, you need to be in the top five," My dad responds. It looks like this conversation is going nowhere.

"Dad, my primary goal is to get into the Superpole shootout. You are acting worse than mum," I retorted. At least she knows that I am willing to set goals. Thankfully Nyck comes to my rescue. I quickly excuse myself. I have a lot of work to do even though everything is going my way. The thing is you never know what is going to happen. Nyck and I soon joined our team in the garage. There is some chatter regarding the last free practice round. It does not sound promising.

"Hey, Kristy can you tell me what's going on?" I ask my lead mechanic tentatively.

"We found some irregularities in your telem data yesterday. We will confirm it after FP2," my lead mechanic replies. Dammit. That means there is a chance that something will go wrong. After all, Murphy's law exists for a reason. With some help from Kristy, I pulled myself into the car. I use my monitor to check what she means by irregularities. Thankfully for me, they are only minor. After five minutes of waiting, I am finally let go. The car feels fine as I bring it up to speed. After fifteen minutes of driving, I am about to reach the attack mode activation zone but something has gone wrong. The car comes to a grinding halt. I recognise the problem.

"There is a problem with the computer. I'll try resetting it," I use the radio to let my lead engineer know.

"Ok. Take your time," He responds. It doesn't take me long to find the right button. The LCD screen on my steering wheel goes blank to indicate the reset. After five seconds the screen flickers to life. Ok, here goes nothing. To my surprise, it has worked. I have decided to get the car back to the garage so that the engineers can check what is going on. I have lost my streak. I mean I knew it was going to end but I was hoping it would come in Valencia. There and mechanics can have more time to work on the car before qualifying. Well, there goes my luck. There is nothing I can do about it. It doesn't take me long to reach the garage. As soon as I come to a stop the mechanics get to work. After exchanging a quick word with them I free myself from the car. The team principal joins me as I get my helmet and balaclava off.

"Jess I need to ask if you are sure it is a software issue?" He decides to double-check in case I am wrong. I mean I could be but I am certain that it is a computer issue.

"Yes, Ian. The car felt smooth. We will see what the mechanics and engineers have to say," I respond. I just need to have some faith in them. It has been an hour since I retired from the last free practice and I am getting something to nibble on while I count down to the qualifying session. I am also getting a grilling from my dad.

"No, dad. I will be fine. There is no damage to the car," I retort. At least my mum understands that there is nothing that she can do. I do however understand that if the computer fails it could end in disaster for me and another driver.

"Philippe, you don't have to worry. Just trust Jess' team,'' my mum jumps in. I can tell that she is worried but not in the same way. Nyck soon adds to the small crowd. He seems a little peeved. I put it down to the fact that he cares about me and I am not doing well. I feel his hand on my leg. I find some comfort in the gesture. There is a lot that can go wrong but I just have to work through it. After thirty minutes of waiting, I was summoned to the garage. There is still a lot going on.

"Jess, I believe we have sorted the issue out but if you feel like something is going to go wrong I need you to retire," I get the brief from Ian. The good thing is he seems confident. Like my mum said I need to trust the team. It doesn't take long for me to get ready for the group qualifying rounds. Again I am the first one out. I put it down to the fact that I know how to avoid the worst of the traffic. To my surprise, I am closely followed by Robin Frijns. I assume he will want a tow. Well, he is not Nyck so I am going to try my best to prevent it from happening. It doesn't take me long to set a good lap time. Again I find myself in a good position. After fifteen minutes of waiting, I have ended up in the Superpole shootout. I will be sent out first since I qualified sixth. Well here goes nothing. I get to work on setting a good lap. Only there is one problem. I am lacking pace. It doesn't take long for me to finish my timed lap. After five minutes of waiting everyone else has completed their laps. For some reason I find myself venting to Nyck who scored second place.

"I just don't get it. I got the car to the Superpole shootout but I couldn't convert the pace into results," I started off with a small rant. To be fair there were some technical issues but I think my mind wasn't really with it.

"Look Jess, you are stressed. It is your home E-Prix and you want to do well," A good point. There is nothing that I can do about the stress though.

"I am going to take a walk through the paddock to clear my mind," I excuse myself. It shall give me a chance to clear my head. After all, this might be the most important race of my Formula E career. I get so engrossed in my thoughts I fail to notice the person in front of me before it is too late.

"I am sorry I wasn't paying attention," I apologise to the man. I recognise him as Sam Bird.

"Don't worry about it, Jess. I wasn't really paying attention either," He responds. I find myself giggling ever so slightly at the awkwardness of the situation. After a brief chat with Sam, I head back to the Mercedes hospitality area. I have decided that there isn't much that I can do about the stress of the race. What I can do is make sure that I am able to focus on the reason why I am here. After two hours of waiting the lights have finally gone out to signify the start of the Paris E-Prix. I find myself gaining a position in the chaos of turn one. Ok, I just need to settle into a rhythm.

"Ok Jess, that was a good start but we need you to be careful," My lead engineer uses the radio to remind me of the potential of something going wrong.

"Roger. I'll try my best to be careful," I responded. In fact, it doesn't take long for something to go wrong. I try to get the car somewhere safe before it gives up entirely. Unfortunately, I am not successful. I can feel the force of someone hitting the side pod of my car which sends the car forward with some force. The blackness sets in as the car comes to a dramatic stop by colliding into the wall. Bloody hell. The situation facing me is all too familiar.

"Jess, are you ok?" Like the previous time, I am brought back to reality by my engineer.

"No. I think I may have a severe concussion," I am barely able to get the message across. It feels like my head has been split open. I know it is not true since the helmet is designed to protect my head but it is the only way I can describe the tremendous pain in my head. I was soon helped out of the car and into the medical car. I am given a look over. It didn't take long for me to be taken to the local hospital. After two hours of various tests, I have finally been given time to rest. The reality of the situation has dawned on me and I am beyond frustrated. If it wasn't for the technical issue I would be at least third. Nyck soon joins me. I can see the concern on his face.

"Nyck I may be sore but there is no need to worry," I try to reassure him but the anger in my voice is obvious.

"Jess, There is nothing that you can do or say that is going to stop me from worrying. It's my job as your boyfriend," Nyck retorts. If it weren't for the fact that I am in pain I would giggle at his statement. Even though my day ended in disaster I am glad that I am ok, relatively speaking. I may not have completed my goals but the day wasn't a complete waste of time. I got the chance to do something that I was planning to do for a while. That is to use Anthoine's helmet design at a home race. In fact, if I am able to I will keep that design. I might even find a way to incorporate my brother's design. Right now I am getting ahead of myself. Nyck soon gets comfortable. I may have failed in my home race but there is a part of me that is satisfied. I have everything that I want from my career.