The Stag and the Doe

Chapter 19

James POV

The two days following Sirius' birthday had been relatively unremarkable, except for the growing tension between Gryffindor's and Slytherin's as the first quidditch match neared. I was getting more stressed and working the team every night, and there was one other thing that was nagging me.

"Does it seem like Lily's been off?" I asked the guys.

"Come on quidditch captain, get your head in the game." Sirius said as we sat together in our common room saturday morning. "We got the game today."

"I know." I said, dippong my head.

"You know what, fuck this!" Sirius said. "You and Lily are talking about whatever happened, then we're getting on that quidditch pitch and killing Slytherin!!"

Lily POV

"You know what, fuck this!" Sirius' voice carried from down in the common room.

"What's up with him?" I asked Marlene.

"I think he's upset James has seemed distracted since his birthday." Marlene said, shrugging her shoulders. "Did you two fight again?"

"No, I swear." I said, suddenly feeling guilty. "He just said some things while he was drunk that surprised me." Marlene cocked an eyebrow.

"Like what?" She asked.

"Just that he loves me, and wants to marry me, and wants to have children together." I said and Marlene had a look like she wasn't surprised.

"Lily, this man has loved you, and only you, for sooooo damn long. He probably dreamed every night about having you by his side." Marlene said.

"I know, I'm just scared. It seems kinda quick, and basically everyone I get close with and opens up to, ends up hurting me. Look at Snape, and Tunie." I said, I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"Lily, James would never hurt you. The only way he would leave you is if he dies before you." Marlene said, and I snorted. "That man loves you, just talk with him so he'll get out of his head, ok?" I nodded and there was a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" James asked.

"I don't know, 'can you'?" Marlene retorted and I slapped her arm.

"May I?" He replied and I heard Sirius giggling.

"Yes, only you." I said and the door opened. James looked at me, then Marlene, then back at me.

"If now's not a good time." He started before I cut him off.

"No, we need to talk. Marlene out." I said and Marlene left with a smile.

"If I did something wrong, I'm." James began, but I cut him off by waving my hand.

"You didn't do anything wrong." I started. "Do you remember Sirius' party?"

"Some, I drank a little more than I wanted to." James said.

"Well, I was talking with Remus as he was recording the party with a camera he took from muggle studies. Well, you stubbed over and started talking to Remus about us, and our future, and I just got scared." I said, and he leaned forward and held me.

"What did I say?" James asked.

"You said how we're gonna get married, and have kids. I'm sorry, I'm just nowhere near ready to think about that yet. We haven't even graduated yet, hell, we're been together for like a month." I said, and I could see the sorrow in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Lily." He said, his grip loosening on me.

"It's just everyone I care about leaves." I said, and James stiffened up immediately.