My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Thirty Four

I knew, as well, that Friday would be the most important game my girls cheered at that year. If they didn't get it together, Sanfield would no doubt put them to shame. But if they actually pulled through and performed, this game would put them on the map. Sanfield was well recognized, and we all knew it. If these girls could hold their own against them, that meant our Athletics Director would take note. That meant more funding. That meant competitions, materials, travelling...everything these girls deserved, but didn't have. And it was in my hands to lead them to getting it.

I found myself almost willing the passage of time. I was dying for some day in the future where this game was behind us, the team was where it wanted to be, things with Kate were better, and Chelsea and I were able to be together without worrying about the cost. Technically speaking, that day was November 13th. But even after that, it wasn't going to be easy for the two of us. We still couldn't go public, for the sake of my job and her social survival. We couldn't be seen together, and we couldn't let on during school at all. It was a lot of adversity to struggle against, and though more often than not I pushed the thought away, I was more and more frequently haunted by the silent question of whether or not we would make it.

Chad called me Thursday night just to see how I was doing, as the last time he left me I was so hung over I was practically still drunk. Of course, one of the first things I asked about was Kate.

"Surprisingly, she doesn't seem completely and totally pissed," he said.

"Really?" I asked. That was something.

"Yeah, which is progress for someone who's always pissed about something."

"Pissed at me about something," I added. "Is Megan mad?"

He seemed to find this funny. "As if I spoke to Megan."

"So I'm not the only one who doesn't like her?"

"Honey, you may have been trashed that night but your judgement of character was on point."

"It was the Cabernet Sauvignon thing. That's what put me over the edge."

He laughed, then imitated, "Cabernet Sauvignon."

By the end of the conversation, I ended up unloading onto Chad all of the problems that had been plaguing my mind lately. It was probably stupid of me, as I was supposed to be keeping a secret, but I eventually divulged my whole history with Chelsea, from the first day in homeroom up to Tiffany's confrontations the previous week. It wasn't the most prudent idea to tell anyone about Chelsea, but I figured that if I couldn't trust Chad, I couldn't trust anyone. He  surprised me by acting very cool about the whole thing; while Chad would never judge me, he sure loved drama, and this had drama written all over it.

"It's no big deal, Brooke," he assured me. "You love who you love."

"I know," I said, "but Tiffany."

"Screw her," he said, "She's not gonna try anything. She knows that that would ruin the team."

"And that's the thing," I agreed. "The team can't get ruined. We just can't. We have our most important game tomorrow night."

"How come?"

"They're playing Sanfield High," I explained. "They're the best in the league and their cheerleadrrs are amazing. If we can show them up, we could get major funding."

"Are your girls any good?"

"They should be, but I have no perspective on the whole thing. I'll always be partial to them, but their flaws are magnified because I'm their coach."