Time has already run its ruinous path and everything good is over before it even begins.
-Lang Leav
WARNING: contains depression, self-destructive thoughts
DISCLAIMER: this story does not glamorize depression; it is written solely as fiction. Any co...
⭕ If you fall in love with Shigaraki, he will ruin you in the best way possible.
It's not until you've almost reached the alleyway where LOV's hideout is located that you begin crying again. The tears come all at once, and you have to stop walking and double up into a crouch. A door opens, the light from the bar shines on you, and the looming figure shadows over you.
You look up. Shigaraki emerged. His hair is sticking up into crazy angles, like a cow's lick as usual. You straighten up, swiping your nose on the sleeve of your sweater. "I'm okay," you say, still hiccuping back tears. "I'm fine."
For a minute he stands there, looking at you, and you can tell that he knows why you're crying, and he understands, and it's going to be all right. He opens his arms to you.
"Come here," he says quietly.
You can't move to him fast enough. You fall into him. He catches you and pulls you in tightly to his chest, and you let the sobs run through you. He stands there with you and murmurs into your hair and kisses the top of your head.
"I'm sorry," You say over and over into his chest. "I'm sorry." His shirt smells like sour patch, mulch and a hint of mothballs.
"...okay." He whispers back.
When you've calmed down a little, Shigaraki takes your hand. His thumb sleeve, rubbing the inside of your palm. You follow him inside the bar; practically everyone was silent, eyes wide and mouth agape at AFO's protege holding your hand. Not even Toga nor Dabi could say a word. Upstairs, into the darkness of Shiggy's room, which smells like his shirt but even more so. You lie down on his bed and he lies down, facing you. You wedge yourself deep in his arms.
⭕ If you fall in love with Shigaraki, he will give you his heart so carelessly he’ll teach you how love was supposed to be easy this whole time and you’ll wonder why you ever settled for anything complicated. (Note to self: falling in love with Shiggy is easy, the nature of it is complicated)
He'll say little things he doesn’t think much of and you’ll just look at him and realize here is this person who is more than you could have ever wanted in a person. He sets a new level of standards you didn’t even know someone could obtain.
"I've got something for ya~" Shigaraki excitedly waves you over. You approach the aquarium he had set up in his room. A palm-sized turtle with brown shell, and exposed brain bobbed on the water. It reaches the false beach in just a few seconds and settled on a spot to hide in its shell. "Meet your new pet, Bowser!"
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"Bowser." Your deadpanned expression takes over your face. "And I'm keeping him?"
"No." He shook his head. "I'll keep Bowser with me."
"But Bowser's mine."
"Ours."
"You said he's mine!"
"Ours."
You huffed, crossing your arms, stomping to his closet and you grab a random hoodie, then you wrestle it over your head to wear it. Succeeding, you bunch the hair that's tucked inside by the nape of your neck and flip them out, turning to him. "Your logic is the same as me wearing your hoodie any time I want. I can just take liberties on any of your stuff!"
He gives you a big grin and his carmine eyes curved into a crescent shape. "Ours."
It's not until the day is over and you're back in your own room do you realize what he meant. Everything his is yours. His hoodies. Games. Sour patch. Energy drinks. Also, you figured it out, why he insists to keep Bowser with him. A reason for you to keep crashing his place even if he's out on missions. Big brain 100.
Without meaning to, you mutter to yourself, "Ours."
⭕ If you fall in love with Shigaraki, suddenly you’ll find yourself really protective of him. Anyone who hurts him or uses him or makes him question himself you’ll hate.
"He won't be here for awhile." Kurogiri says while wiping the rock glass with dainty white cloth. You hesitantly sat on the barstool, feeling out of place without Shigaraki there. Kurogiri only nods at you and mixes a non-alcoholic drink for you.
"Missions?"
"... no." Kurogiri purple mist fluctuates; further reinforcing your theory of his mood affecting the mist. "Dr. Garaki Kyudai."
"The one who made my turtle?"
The older man eyes you critically for a moment, halting his actions. "Your?"
"Oh, I meant my and Shiggy's turtle. It's so weird, why did the doctor left Bowser's brain that big? And why is it exposed?"
He doesn't answer your question, instead he asks you one. "What do you feel like drinking? Something to energize? Sweet? Refreshing?"
"Something to wake me up."
"Ah, I have just the drink." He takes an ounce of cold brew coffee, and you watch horrified as he mixed it with an ounce of grapefruit. He finishes the drink with half ounce lemon juice and a quarter ounce of vanilla syrup. Kurogiri stirs the drink refinely and then slides the drink to you. "Coffee tonic."
"Okay." You take the glass and sniffed it. "I trust you." You reluctantly tipped the glass to your lips and your eyes widened at the taste. "I don't know how coffee and grapefruit mixed together works, but this is refreshing!"
He nods in a gentle fashion and goes back to cleaning glasses. --- Shigaraki finds you playing with Bowser. You lie on your stomach on his floor and the turtle waddles to the tiny strawberry you placed. Still feeling very weak because he barely got out of the hospital, Shigaraki lies beside you, watching Bowser murder the fruit.
"... if you keep ignoring me–"
"Kurogiri told me about the surgery. Dr. Garaki hurts you during treatments, doesn't he?"
Shigaraki stayed silent. He couldn't articulate how he found the surgeries, the doctor's tinkering on his body is something he is grateful for. He is AFO's protege. He is chosen. The only natural response to his mentor's grace is to be grateful.
"I hate him." You murmured darkly. "I hate your mentor. I hate the doctor. I hate–"
Shigaraki feels himself shrivel at your words. He starts to pick at his chapped lips, tearing the dried skin off.
"Shiggy, I hate anyone who hurts you."
He froze. His head whips to you and meets your eyes. "Leave." He growls.
You stare at him and your jaw clenched, every inch of your skin tightens, in an instant you wore a poker face, shutting everything out once more. You get up and leave after carefully returning Bowser in his tank.
Shigaraki stays lying on the floor, curling into his favorite curled up position. A wave of unfamiliar emotion threatens his control. He knew it was unfair of him. But after hearing those words that made the weight in his heart fade for a damn moment, a fucking millisecond of his entire life, it made his heart soar.
Where were you when he needed someone back then?
--- Without meaning to, he's disarmed me with kisses that soothe and alarm me. In arms that terrify and calm me.
