matters of the heart

31

Lorraine is standing next to it, her eyes fixated on her phone. I realise her friends aren't with her which is a relief. Those girls do not like me-for good reasons. Besides, I wanted to be alone with Lorraine. I realise when I'm not around her, I miss her. Which is f*cking weird because until recently she couldn't stand me and half of the time we're bickering.

Maybe it's the bickering I miss. Watching her flush when I say something crude. Watching the silent hunger in her eyes.

Don't go there. Dangerous territory.

We're friends, I think. We can only be friends. I don't want to f*ck things up with her again. Not now. Not ever. Sex complicates sh*t and I have enough on my hands to keep things complicated.

"Hey, you ready?" I nudge her slightly with my gym bag to catch her attention. She looks away from her phone, blinks and takes a deep breath before nodding. "I know your friends hate me but what, they can't stand a 10 minutes drive with me?"

Lorraine frowns. "My friends don't hate you."

She doesn't sound too convinced either.

"Ok," I dump my gym bag in the trunk then go to stand next to her by the passenger's door. "Why aren't they here then?"

"Sam and Elle had to run to the library to do some last minute printing because they both have a paper due tomorrow. Shadé has a play on Tuesday and her ass of a partner called her in because he made some last minute changes to the script. They're coming yours as soon as they finish." I make a hnm sound not too convinced. "Seriously, they don't hate you.  Maybe they don't like the things you've done in the past, but they don't hate you." She says softly, brown eyes peeking up to look at me. "Besides, I think you earned yourself some points with that Instagram comment."

"And what about with you. Did I earn some points?" I ask, unable to look away from those brown orbs. Without thinking, I close the gap between us. The smell of her drives me utterly mad. Her throat bobs at the proximity. The reasonable thing to do is apologise and take a step back but I'm looking into her eyes and it feels so right. To be with her like this, in my jersey, after a game. To kiss her. Fuck, I wanna taste her again. I want her in my f*cking mouth.

All of her.

"Charlie-" she sounds breathless. I imagine my name rolling off her tongue as I watch her come undone. The thought brings a burn to my lower abdomen.

Do the right thing. Take a step back.

"Come on," I reach out to pull the door behind her open instead of kissing her. "Ryan's gonna kill me if we're late." She smiles as she enters the car but it doesn't reach her eyes. I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart after shutting the door before jogging to the other side of the car and getting behind the wheels.

I'm f*cking loosing it.

****

We get to my off campus apartment in less than ten minutes because contrary to Sawyer's belief our apartment isn't that far without the morning rush traffic. As we walk up the porch that leads to the front door, I realise Lorraine is not coming with. Instead, she's standing by the by the stairs staring at her phone anxiously.

"Everything alright?" I ask worriedly, pulling my house keys from my back pocket.

"Elle's just texted me that the printers are out of use so they're gonna be here a little later." She sighs "looks like I'm going to be alone for a little while."