Random Writes Collection

The Jeffries

"The clock struck midnight." Pete reads the first sentence of the book aloud to himself. He sighs. "Cliche." Flipping to the end of the book, he scans the last words. "Yep. Just as I thought."

He sighs again. "Why can't anyone be original these days?"

Pete is very, very, bored. He has a whole month off work and has promised himself he won't move an inch. These were his exact words: "I won't move an inch the entire day. I'll stay on that sofa and read." he had told his wife Mary as she pulled on her coat to take the children to school. She'd smiled, unconvinced, but Pete is sure. Now... not so much. He read one book, then another, then another... and realized they were all the same. "Same beginning, same middle, same ending," he grumbles. "Look," he tells the stuffed owl on the mantelpiece. "Even the villains are the same!"

After chucking one particularly offending book over his shoulder, Pete leans back on the overstuffed pillow his little daughter had made. "Ow!" He rubs his back. His fingers touch a small, flat object. It's a book - The Adventures of Nobody by Anonymous. "Hmm." Pete strokes his chin, putting a new point on the goatee he's trying to grow. The cover is luxuriously decorated with silver leaf so bright he can see his face clearly. Opening it, he reads the following:

""The clock struck midnight." Pete reads the first sentence of the book aloud to himself. He sighs. "Cliche." Flipping to the end of the book, he scans the last words. "Yep. Just as I thought."

He sighs again. "Why can't anyone be original these days?"

Pete is very, very, bored. He has a whole month off work..."

Pete blinks. He rubs his eyes and looks again. He reads some more:

"...Pete leans back on the overstuffed pillow his little daughter had made. "Ow!" He rubs his back. His fingers touch a small, flat object. It's a book - The Adventures of Nobody by Anonymous. "Hmm." Pete strokes his chin, putting a new point on the goatee he's trying to grow. The cover is luxuriously decorated with silver leaf so bright he can see every nose hair, which he'd rather not. Opening it, he reads the following:

""The clock struck midnight." Pete reads the first sentence of the book aloud to himself. He sighs. "Cliche." Flipping to the end of the book, he scans the last words. "Yep. Just as I thought."

He sighs again. "Why can't anyone be original these days?"

Pete is very, very, bored. He has a whole month off work..."..."

Pete shook his head in amazement. "The Adventures of Nobody, huh," he murmurs.

When Mary and the children get home (she had gone to work after taking the children to school) he shows her the book. "Look, Mary. Look at this book!"

She glances at the first few words to humour her husband, then her eyes widen and she takes the book from him. He smiles, thinking Mary is surprised that the book has documented his day. But this is what Mary sees:

"Mary walks to school in the driving rain, herding her children in front of her.

"Mummy?" asks her youngest son Michael, thumb in his mouth. "Mummy, do Mikey have to go pweeschool? Mikey stay home wid you."

"Michael, don't be silly." she says impatiently. "Your first day will be fun! Patch will take care of you."

10 year old Patrick "Patch" Jeffries sticks out his bottom lip and kicks at a pebble.

"No I won't - Mikey can take care of himself." he declares. "And don't call me Patch!"

"Patrick Jeffries, you will look after your little brother-"