a hollow perception (Fate/Zero × Demon Slayer)

first: discordant harmony

"You can," he replied.

Kotomine-san, do you
did you recently lost someone, Kotomine-san?

Another crossed words appeared again. "A year ago, I did," he told her as distantly as possible to prevent the emergence of a certain memory.

Lilac eyes directly looked at him in the eyes. They both stared at each other, as Kirei saw her eyes roaming his eyes and face. He immediately realized that she was searching for... something.

Was it sad? That you lost this someone? she asked probingly.

"What are you implying?" Kirei asked her instead.

She offered a smile faintly. I made you uncomfortable, aren't I? she wrote.

Kirei furrowed his brows at those words. "No. I would like you tell me frankly what you have seen in me that made you uncomfortable," he told her flatly.

I'm sorry, she apologized in the note with a bowed head, I simply wanted to see your reaction.

"You were..." Kirei was suddenly reminded that she can see the smallest shifts of smallest details of the body. That means, during this conversation, she was trying to see what kind of reaction he would make talking about this... someone he had recently lost. But... "What does these questions and what you have seen in me related together?" he asked.

A distant look of contemplation took over her expression before she replied, It was a misunderstanding on my part. I'm sorry, Kotomine-san for judging you horribly.

"Horribly...?" said Kirei.

Yes, her note told him, I was trying to see if you cared, there was an underline in this word for emphasis, and it seems like I was wrong that you didn't. I'm sorry again, Kotomine-san.

"I see." So that's the reason why she can't keep looking at me? Kirei thought dubiously but he accepted the reason for now. After all, despite the answer she told him, Tsuyuri kept averting her eyes from him, as if trying to avoid him altogether.

I'm sorry if the answer wasn't sufficient enough, her note suddenly appeared in his line of sight, as if knowing what was on his mind. Kirei wasn't surprised at this. Tsuyuri always does it to him whenever he would lapse into silence.

"No, it's fine. You did say you can't put what saw in me into words, right?" Kirei smiled in satisfaction when he saw her blinking confusing at him.

I see, she wrote at him, so you saw what you see in me with your own eyes. She turned the next page, you're not blind, after all.

Did she just...? he thought startlingly when he read those words. Raising his eyes up to her, Kirei saw her looking at him searchingly with her striking lilac eyes.

Tsuyuri Kanao smiled... faintly at him.

...

It occurred to him that their conversations was never one-way — they'd observed each other silently and was curious to one another's presence. Kirei started to examine their talks and attempted to evaluate it for himself.

As he'd said earlier, their conversation was aimless that seemingly lacks any purpose. Random topics and casuals talk, this was the mood between them — distant yet intimate. Seemingly on his side, but Tsuyuri might had thought otherwise. Kirei realized that, during the most of their conversation, she was always the one who brought up the topics. Their seemingly meaningless subjects of their talks — perhaps there was a hidden meaning in it. At least to Tsuyuri Kanao.