until i fall asleep.

and there's something i'm supposed to say but can't for the life of me.

notes of the author: hey there!!! hope y'all have a good reading!! don't forget to drink water and eat properly!! title of the chapter: moon song, by phoebe bridgers <3

Sirius is going mad. No, for real. He is going insane.

14 hours ago.

'So, how are you feeling?' Lily's voice reach him. He looks at her, smiling a little.

You can see their shapes through the glass in a Coffee place, just the two of them.  Lily has ordered a hot choco, and Sirius a cappuccino with muffins. He used to hate coffee, but some time between his last year of school and work he got very addicted. For the amount of time he drank coffee saying how awful they are and instead of just stopping he continued to drink more. Remus used to make jokes about it, cause he was the one in their relationship who has coffee addiction.

God, he needs to stop thinking about Remus.

'I'm ok.'

'Really? Nothing new you want to tell me?'

'Dunno Lily, why are you acting weird?'

'I'm not!'

'Ok..Weirdo.'

She rolled her eyes, 'How's work, then?'

'It's ok, i'm having some days off cause Marlene got my hours.'

'Sounds like Marlene. Stealing the job you have to do, since highschool.'

Sirius laughs a little. Marlene did stole two jobs he was supposed to do, but Sirius was more than ok about it. He kinda needed the time to think, and get his mind in one place.  So much was going on these days, not only the confusion he felt towards Remus now, because he already knew he liked him, the only problem was telling him. But also other things came in the way, like Benjy. And Regulus. His dreams. His work. A lot was going on.  So he was grateful Marls did what she did.

Both Sirius and Marlene works in a Tattoo Place, owned by Jack Johnson, a huge tattoo artist. Sirius loves his job, because he get to draw random stuff on random people, and mostly because he loves doing art, but he and Marlene share the dream to open their own tattoo studio. But for now, it's just a dream.

He doesn't acknowledge this much, but he is an artist. Well, he works with it. But when someone points out that he's an artist he always thinks, 'i don't feel like one, but ok'. Which is insane, cause since he was a little kid he used to be drawing everywhere, and it wasn't random things that children liked to draw, but yes, it was good stuff.

He expressed himself trough art, his feelings were colors and his thoughts were lines. He is good at doing Art. And back then, his mom would go crazy about it, she put him in the best classes for arts, and she loved showing him around. His family were proud of him, until they weren't anymore. Art was only accepted there when it was formal art. Acceptable at his moms terms: Only classic art. Not creative, not expressive, not anything. And Sirius liked to explore his drawings, his paintings and writing. It made them go feral. But thinking about it his mom was always getting feral about everything Sirius used to do. It's weird for him to come back to these memories, actually. Sirius doesn't think much about his old family. Well, his biological one. Regulus, his little brother, is the only one of them who makes a great part of deal in his life. So he tries no to think about that time, when he lived there. When he was all alone. And he thinks his brain understood the assignment too good, cause sometimes he can't even remember the name of his mother.

No. He can't even think about it.

'Yeah, it does sounds like her. Well, How's things with Prongsie?'