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chapter five into the woods
Alex has learned thatanger is only a good thing when it's convenient for other people. She could hit other kids with dodgeballs, she could tackle kids on the field if it meant that her team won. But as soon as she lashed out because god forbid someone else made her angry, she was in the wrong, and they were innocent. She needed to learn to control her anger. She needed to just ignore them. They were just trying to get a reaction out of her. James and Troy can get away with their jabs and jeers when they use her as an excuse. It's easy to get away with things when you can use the angry girl as a scapegoat.
The living room was shrouded in dim lighting. The suffocating mixture of different incense that Steve had found caked in dust on the back shelves of Melvalds filled the air. Alex could detect several different scents, all that intermingled, but none that truly fit together. It was nausea and headache-inducing, but Alex supposed it was the thought that counted. The siblings participated in these supposedly therapeutic exercises prescribed by Kyra-the-Counselor whenever Alex felt as though she were about to crack; when the anger bubbled too close to the surface of her skin and started to slowly seep out, though Alex had always found the practice ineffectual.
"Breathe," Steve hummed softly from where he sat with his legs crossed before Alex. His eyes were closed tightly as if it would somehow enhance the experience.
Although it warmed her heart to know that her brother took time out of his day to care when their parents did not, even though it was their job. Steve could disregard her problems, bury them underneath his own problems that Alex knew weighed down on him more than he would tell her, and that's why she does this. Even though she knew that the practice was ineffectual. Her rage had simmered down quite some time ago, the tremor in her hands that was always the telltale sign that she was about to explode had faded away once more, her breathing was even, and her fists were relaxed. But she knew that Steve liked to take care of her, Steve liked to think that he could help his basket case of a sister as if maybe, she wouldn't end up like him. As if he hoped that maybe she would go places. She had always been his top priority, even though she never had to be. Even though she didn't want to be.
Alex never meant to be a burden, she never wanted to be something that people would look at and try to fix, but like the holes she punched into the walls, rage would always be something that needed to be fixed. And fixing his sister made Steve feel like he was useful for something.
