When I Look in The Mirror

Part 1: How It Started...

Chapter 1:

She lent over the toilet bowl vomiting up her lungs, but when she sat up she felt that guilty feeling lift off her chest and she let out a sigh of relief. Her two fingers next to her side trembled as she stood up and washed her hands.
Seven months earlier:
Emie was just an ordinary 13 year old girl, she liked to hang out with her friends, listen to music, draw, even put on a bit of makeup every now then. She didn't hate school she just thought it was ok. It was more the people there that she didn't like mostly, how she could feel there eyes burning into her or there antagonistic sniggers and whispers that found there way drifting into her ears from behind her back. She usually didn't let it bother her but slowly she started to notice her self no longer wearing crop tops or shorts and rolling her skirt shorter at school - she even went out and bought a handbag instead of her usual nike rucksack. Emie had, had a bit of a glow up ; she even started plastering her face with makeup just to try and "fit in" or hide her beautiful face that she seemed to think wasn't pretty anymore. This was just a glow up? Right?

           Chapter 2: How It Progressed     

About a month or so had gone by and summer started to creep in, Emie started to see more girls pop up on her insta in bikinis and sports bras and crop tops with little skinny mini shorts on. So by natural instinct she decided to be a sheep and and go out shopping to be some crop tops and bikinis and all things girly. On the next sunny day she took some pictures in her new things and posted them with the caption #summervibes #feelcute. Later that evening she got a notification on her phone - Instagram. She started to feel a small pit in her stomach that grew larger and larger, tears ran down her face as a cold, grim feeling came over her. Layla Roberts (the popular girls in school) had commented on her post
"Ew do us all a favour and put some different cloths on that you don't look like a fat pig in 🐖🐽🐷 oink! oink!"
Emie cried. And cried. And cried.

                Chapter 3: The Real Beginning

Maybe she's right, Emie thought. What if i do look like i big fat pig? Maybe i should loose some weight? Just a few pounds cant hurt... RIGHT ?
On Saturday she was getting ready to go out with her friends, she put her favourite outfit on -she always looked lovely in it and felt shit hot- but this one particular day she looked in the mirror and felt disgusting. She span around, maybe she was just at a bad angle? No i'm not really that fat am i? I don't actually look like that? She said to herself. She ran to her closet desperately trying to find an outfit but she just didn't like how she looked in any of them. She decided to just put back on what she originally was wearing but didn't feel comfortable. When they got to the shopping centre, Emie looked around, all her friends looked so skinny and beautiful, why couldn't she look like that? In the shops she looked around and saw lots of things she loved! But thought that shed look fat or ugly in anything that she did like so she didn't get anything. After she got back home, her mum asked her why she still had all her money left and Emie just said, "didn't like anything."
'Well what about your lunch? Didn't you get anything to eat?"
"Wasn't hungry" Emie replied. She felt down, but she wasn't sure why although she did lie to her mum because she was hungry but she just didn't get food. She told herself that she didn't like anything on the menu and that it was overpriced for something she didn't want. But that really wasn't the case...

                                  To be continued.......