Love Is A Battlefield (Alan Wilder x Martin Gore)

13: If You Want My Love

"His?"

"Yeah... Yeah, must've been a man. I don't remember anything about him. Not what his face looked like, not what he was wearing that night, not even what his name was. The only thing I can remotely piece together is that he was rude and selfish. And I didn't feel safe at his place. I just got up and left the next day without even saying goodbye. But I know that no one is responsible for my pregnancy other than him, and I hate that. My child will grow up not knowing who their dad is, and neither will I."

He sniffled twice more, and Martin knew he was attempting to hold back tears.

"Honestly, we don't need to know who the father is or where he's gone; he's irrelevant. And from what you've told me, he doesn't sound like right person at all."

"He wasn't. He wasn't at all."

"But it's time to put that all to bed. I've got your back and I will support you through anything and everything, as will Alan, our girls, Fletch and everyone around you. You don't have to do it alone." Martin put his hand on Dave's back and subtly rubbed it in circular motions.

He could only hug Martin as to thank him.

"Just remember that, okay?"

"I won't ever forget it. And... And I don't want to get rid of them. I just thought it was my only option. I'm sorry for saying that."

"Don't apologise. I know that this has been difficult on you. You constantly underestimate yourself. You're such a loving uncle to my children and I know that, when your own child is here, you will give them all the love you have."

"Thank you, Mart. I'll always make sure they know how much I love them."

"I can't wait to see you become a parent. I noticed you've been a little bit less poorly this week, too; that's nice to see!"

"I am feeling a bit better. The baby has gone easy on me this week." They shared a laugh. "Oh, by the way, I know it's still seven months away but their birth has been on my mind a lot lately."

"Oh? Well, there's nothing wrong with having an idea of what you'd like to happen in advance. What have you in mind so far?"

"It's ages away yet, but I'd much rather meet them in a birthing centre than a hospital."

"I see! To be honest, I wanted something similar with Mae. I wound up needing an emergency c-section so it didn't go to plan, but you can absolutely make this happen. As long as your baby doesn't do what Mae did and flips themselves transverse last minute." Martin shrugged and let out a short laugh.

"I remember that." He chuckled. "I'll keep my fingers crossed but if it doesn't happen exactly like that, it's alright. I just want them to be safe."

There was a pause between his words.

"And, Martin,"

"Mhm?"

"I know you're busy at home with the girls and everything, but, um-" He fidgeted. "Since you've been through childbirth twice and you know what it's all about, I was wondering if you were interested in being there with me when the baby is born."

Martin's cold and rosy cheeks suddenly felt warm and much brighter.

"I'd love to, Dave. I did say I've got your back!" He retaliated, to which they both smiled and and hugged again, before Poppi and Esme came tredging through the snow.

"Papa, I'm cold." Poppi yawned, both she and her sister visibly shivering.

"What're you monkeys like?" Dave chuckled.

Martin laughed and brushed snow off of her hood.

"About time we went back to the cabin so I can finish packing your suitcases, anyways. You can warm up by the fire with Daddy, and maybe some hot chocolate." He smirked, making the children cheer.

They then began their walk back to the cabin they had been temporarily living in. Dave watched his trailing footprints as he walked through the heavy flurries with his bandmate and nieces, and as he did, he discretely put a hand inside of his coat and onto his stomach, thinking about his past conversation with Martin. He still had his fears but, now, he felt at peace with the past, present and future.

~~~~~
Two hours later, 6:23pm, the cabin:

It was the moment that they all arrived inside that the weather shifted from that of a winter wonderland to its polar opposite. Raindrops audibly fell and pounded against the cabin roof and the snow melted and washed away.

"Bye bye, snow." Esme frowned, pressing her hand to the window.

"It was lots of fun whilst it lasted, Mae." Alan came to stand beside her. "But don't be sad; the forecast for tomorrow is saying more snow!"

His daughter immediately perked up and she giggled, furthermore enjoying watching the raindrops run down the windowpane.

"The hot chocolate's ready!" They heard Martin call out, and they subsequently walked through to the lounge area.

Two mugs of the beverage waited for them on the table beside the blazing fireplace. Poppi was sitting on the sofa, changed into her pyjamas with hers already in hand. Her sister leapt onto the couch with her and the pair of them sat giggling.

"Don't you two look comfy!" Alan teased, going to pick up he and Esme's mugs.

"It feels all Christmassy, Daddy!" Poppi said happily.

"It does. You can thank your Papa for that, it was his idea to put fairy lights and all these other decorations around the cabin." Her father carefully passed Esme's mug to her and took a seat next to both of them.

~~~~~
Six minutes later, 6:29pm, the hallway:

Meanwhile, Martin hovered between the laundry room and Poppi and Esme's bedroom, finishing folding and packing their clothes. As he moved from room to room, he noticed the door to Dave's bedroom had been left wide open. He paced past the room again, and this time noticed that Dave was lying on his side on his bed, facing the wall.

"Are you not joining Alan and the girls?" He inquired, testing to see whether Dave was awake or not.

"I was going to, but I'm just so tired." Dave said back, turning over. "It really hit me when we got back. I think I'll be in bed for the rest of tonight now."

"Ah, first trimester exhaustion. I know the feeling." His bandmate placed the laundry basket on the floor and sat down on the bed. "You're alright, just rest up. The girls are busy watching a film with their Dad right now; I'm sure they won't mind. I'm packing the last of their bits and pieces in the laundry room just down the hall, so just holler if you want anything."

"Thank you, Mart. Actually, could you switch off the light on your way out? I know it's early but I'm gonna get some sleep." He stretched and yawned, getting himself comfortable.

"Sure; sleep well and, if I don't see you beforehand, I shall see you in the morning." Martin winked, snatching the basket back up and leaving the room.

"Hah, you too. Night."

"Goodnight."

His bedroom fell dark and silent. With the sound of the door closing behind Martin, Dave fell asleep in an instant.