Passing Euphoria (Aizawa Shouta x Reader) (Commissioned Series)

Ch.12

You remained where you were. Only closing your eyes and breathing in gently. All their worry and fear was affecting your quirk and it was starting to not only make you feel the same way, but on a much higher scale. You needed to calm down. You needed to-

"Should I expect anything from you?"

You opened your eyes and looked towards your father. Fumiko was glaring at you, Daiachi was frowning, and your mother looked frustrated. You only bowed to your father and then took a few steps towards him finally.

"My apologies, father." You spoke. "I was feeling a bit shocked by all this, but Daichi-nii-chan has greatly helped calm us all down."

"Well, you came." Your father sighed. "I suppose with your line of work, it's a miracle you have any free time at all."

You frowned. He always did this. He always made a jab at your career choice. He was always clever though, not only making his words seem less cruel, but also never directly saying which of your careers he didn't approve of: hero, school therapist, both? Your father was a hard man. He was a hard to impress man too.

Your father always seemed hard on you, especially when you had a brother who was a doctor and a sister who was a model. Being a hero or a therapist didn't seem like praise worthy careers. Your father thought heroes were destructive attention seekers and... he didn't believe in mental illness. He was of the sentiment that those who had it were using it as a cover for laziness or not having control of their own emotions.

"I'll always make time for my family, father." You responded back to him.

"Yet it takes you three times as long to get here compared to your siblings." Your mother sniffled. "Your father could have gone critical while you were taking your time!"

"I don't live in central Tokyo like them! And I got here as fast as I could, mother!"

"Don't raise your voice at our mother." Daichi scolded you.

You held your tongue, knowing there was no winning here. The four of them were a tight knit group, you were the one left gazing in from the outside.

"I'll come to visit every day, daddy!" Fumiko told him.

"I'm your doctor, so you'll be seeing me quite a bit." Daichi told him.

"I'll be here as well." Your mother smiled and then looked at you. "What about you (Name)?"

"The weekdays are not good. I can try to come everyday around this time but-"

"Just don't come at all then if you don't care about dad at all!" Fumiko snapped at you.

"Fumiko." Your father's voice was sterned. "(Name) has a career, one she clearly cares about."

He wasn't saying it proudly. He was saying that you picked your career over your family. Your siblings and mother nodded along to him, and looked away from you on the edge of the patient recovery room. You inhaled sharply and squeezed one of your hands into a tight fist.

The conversation didn't return back to you and soon Daichi said that visiting hours were over and everyone needed to go so your father could properly rest. As you bid your goodbyes and told your parents you'd stop by the family home some time this weekend to check up on your father, your mind started to sink yet again. You sniffled lightly as you stared at the polished white floor under your feet. You felt sick and couldn't understand how one simple hour long talk with your family could make you feel so... so ostracized.

When you were a teenager, your depression had rationalized that your parents cared more about their prized son and cute baby girl than they cared about you. A thought you had always tried to fight off and disprove, but one that always seemed to come back with a vengeance when encounters like these occurred. You always left feeling like the third favorite, the third rate, the... accident.

It was terrible and you knew you should banish these thoughts before they could consume you. But it was hard to beat this feeling though, especially when you felt this way from the innermost part of your heart. It was a disgrace for you to feel this way.

How were you supposed to feel though? Your parent's adoration for your siblings was clear from their names alone! Your brother was named Daichi, containing the kanji for 'great' and 'son'. Meanwhile your sister, Fumiko, also had a wonderful meaning to her name. Fumiko, as written for her, contained the kanji for 'great' and 'beauty'. It was clear your parents thought the world of your siblings. You just wondered if your own name had been given as much thought and praise.

But you never asked. You feared what that answer might be. So, you resorted to just looking up the kanji for your name and drawing your own conclusions. No desire to ask them for meaning or intentions behind the name.

The city was still alive and bustling as you walked outside. You inhaled the air a few times, calming yourself down slightly. It was futile though, as it seemed your baby sister had some choice parting words for you.

"(Name)-nee-chan." She spoke with anger and you turned to face her. "If I'm giving up a week of modeling work, you have no excuse. You're supposed to be a hero, right? Then started acting like one."

She shoved past you and carried on her way back home to her luxury apartment. You meanwhile had a long journey home to your moderately sized apartment close to UA. Your feet carried you quickly to the station, not wanting to have a final parting conversation with your mother or brother.

Now with it being so late, the trains were empty. You were able to actually sit and stare at the ground as you moved from station to station, train line to train line. The dryness in your throat was only becoming more and more unbearable along with the stinging sensation from your eyes and the tightness of your chest.

Not too much longer now though. Only a little further and you could let it all out. You could let these feelings take a hold of you and hope they'd release you by the time the sun rose again.

You didn't even realize you had made it home until you were right before your door. Your brain must have gone on autopilot while you tried to stay afloat emotionally. But now, you were aware of your surroundings and sighed as you got out your key and unlocked the door.

It was dark inside. You flicked on a light. It still felt dark, but not because of actual darkness.

You kicked your shoes off, your hero costume you wore during your hours at UA tossed without care into the washing machine. You were starving, but didn't move to feed yourself. Instead, you collapsed onto the couch and began to bawl.

As soon as you started however, you felt your quirk activate and suddenly everything was that much more intense. You tried to settle down, to fight the emotions back, but it was too late. The emotions within you, powered up by your quirk were not going to stop and you had a feeling they might not, even given a few hours time.

So... you did the only thing you could think of.

You grabbed your work phone and managed to send a text through blurry vision. It was for a petty personal need, but you hoped he'd come to assist you. If there was anyone who could help settle you - it was the man who could temporarily erase quirks.

You just hoped Aizawa wouldn't be too mad. You couldn't take another disapproving look. You couldn't handle someone else gazing at you like you were a disappointment. You couldn't.