𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 | A Top Gun Fanfiction

Chapter 4: 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘖𝘯𝘦?

At the mention of her name, we both turn and look at the instructor. There's no way she's heard us. She's working hard to clean up her supplies. I stare at her back, imagining wings, golden and silver tipped layers of feathers, cloud like and ethereal sprouting out of her shoulder blades with a heavenly ring glowing over the crown of her head. She's already beautiful, but the thought of her so radiant makes my insides quiver. What if we all could be like that? Otherworldly, inward and out? What would I look like? A sad swamp monster, I decide, picturing a lonely waif in a somber colored gown and oily hair falling about her face.

What about...her?

A phoenix. No question about it.

My eyes dart to Maverick and I find him staring at me.

What about him?

"Don't feel bad." Maverick says. "Charlie's put up with those guys long enough to know how they are. She's lucky to have you though. I could see all her notes getting tucked away in your head," Maverick reaches out and taps my temple. I catch his finger between mine and laugh - but the laugh get's squashed by my own crippling disbelief. Maverick senses the sudden shift in demeanor and ducks his head to catch my gaze. "Hey...are you ok? Did I-"

I suck in a deep breath, "How do you do that?"

Maverick's frown deepens. "Do what?"

"Make me laugh? Make me smile," I give a cry of exasperation under my breath and turn in my chair so I'm facing the forward. My hands come up to latch onto my hair, grasping at the thick blonde strand for dear life. The breath in my lungs is growing thin. Lack of oxygen leaves me panting quietly. I close my eyes and think of nothing but inhales and exhales, completely ignoring Maverick.

Just for a moment.

Until I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"Stirrups..."

Hey.

No, I shout. Not now!

Listen to me! She raises her voice to match mine. He's being nice, Stirrups! He's reaching out! He's a human being reaching out to you! This is your chance-

No.

No, what? She snaps, her frustration mounting. I can feel the thunder rumble in the back of my head. A storm fueled by our debate.

No, I will not break in front of a stranger.

He's a teammate. Hardly a stranger.

He's a guy. He's not my friend.

Her sigh echoes in my head, but she goes quiet. Taking her opinions on my well being with her, back to her corner in my mind. I peel my eyes open reluctantly.

"I'm sorry, I'm just...not used to this."

It's the worst excuse I've ever come up with but for the Hell I'm going through I think it's pretty damn good. It certainly gets Maverick to soften up. He takes his hand off of my shoulder and nods.

"I get it, you're new. It's your first day. And, well..." Maverick's voice drops, allowing the awkward silence to creep in. I turn my head and look him in the eye, even when he doesn't meet my gaze. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but it almost seems as though he's blushing. Just a bit. And the funny thing is, it's not his cheeks, it's his ears. They're hiding a trace of pink that makes my stomach flutter. I know what's going on. I knew what he was alluding to the second he opened his mouth but for some reason it's so much more amusing that he's uncomfortable just spitting it out.