Better Than Words

Spaces

"So guitar lessons are 'nothing,'" she says skeptically. Marina raises an eyebrow at me.

"It's true!" I say in a voice about two octaves higher than normal.

"Ali," Marina scolds. "What are you going to do about him? He probably thinks that this means he has a chance again."

I say nothing.

"ALI!" Marina and Sam say in unison. "You need to do something! Just because it feels better to treat it like it never happened doesn't mean you can," Sam tells me.

"That is probably the stupidest idea ever. I mean it, Ali, if you just take him back like that I will never forgive you or him." Marina folds her arms across her chest.

"Wait, isn't this my choice?" I ask, suddenly defensive. "It is my relationship, right?"

"Yes, but taking him back would be a stupid choice," Marina says, mocking my tone. Sam throws her a look.

"Yes, Ali, it is your choice, technically, but that's not going to be the best thing for your relationship. You have to work through things," Sam says patiently.

"That's easy for you guys to say, you've both been with your boyfriends for a significantly longer amount of time than I have!" I can feel myself almost slipping into a pout. All I want is to be happy with Niall, but no, he just had to go kiss someone...

"And the reason why is because we worked through the tough times!" Marina says exhasperatedly.

"That's what I'm trying to do." I roll my eyes.

"No, Ali, what you're doing is avoiding the problem completely. Seriously. Either way, you need to make it clear to him what you want, and you need to do it soon so it's fair for the both of you."

I hate it when they're right.

They stay with me for another few hours before the nurse kicks them out, and I'm stuck alone for the rest of the night with nothing but a guitar, coloring books, and my thoughts of what the hell I'm going to tell Niall tomorrow.

When he comes the next day, it's sometime around lunch. He shows up with a Chipotle burrito and a small soda for me, even though the nurses said I should just eat what they give me for now. Hospital food sucks.

"Thought you might be hungry," he smirks.

"Starving," I tell him half-heartedly.

"How was your night? Sleep okay?"

"Eh. I woke up a few times and I got in trouble with the nurses for playing too loudly," I say with a nod toward his guitar. "Thanks for letting me borrow it, by the way."

"That's pretty funny, and you're welcome! Hang on, I thought you said you were starving, why haven't you started eating yet?" he asks, noticing I haven't made a single move toward my food. If there's one thing that concerns Niall, it's someone's eating habits.

"What's wrong?" He looks at me with concern.

"I think we should talk about this whole thing. I know I said I wanted to wait, but..." I trail off.

"No, I understand. Okay, let's talk." He sits next to me, bracing himself for the worst.

"I don't like what you did," I tell him. "Obviously, I don't think anyone would. But I feel like it's unfair for me to ask you to be normal with me for now without telling you what I ultimately want to do."

"I really don't mind, Ali," he starts, but I cut him off.

"Whether you mind or not, I don't like it. Just because it's more convenient for me doesn't mean it's right. That being said," I take a deep breath, "I'd be willing to try things again and I want to see if we can move past this. I love you, and I'm willing to give you one chance to make it right." I wait for him to respond.