Young Royals S2

Chapter 15 - Sara

'Thank you for calling, sir. I will call you back tomorrow with my final answer. Goodbye, and thanks again.' I hang up the phone. I notice my hands are shaking.

It was our headmaster, telling me I could officially become a boarder at Hillerska. If I still wanted to. He told me I had to give him my final answer tomorrow, preferably sooner.

I did it. I finally did it: I became a boarder. Something I've wanted from my first day at Hillerska. When I started at Hillerska, I immediately admired people like Felice and August. I desperately wanted to be one of them. 'I am one of them', I tell myself, but the empty feeling inside of me doesn't fill with joy the way I expected.

I thought I'd be over the moon after hearing this news, but I feel numb. I spent so much of my time 'becoming Felice', that I actually lost her during all of it. I was so focused on my goal that I didn't notice the collateral damage.

Because Felice isn't the only one I lost. I lost Simon, I lost my mom.
I walk over to Simons room. He isn't there, so I sit down on his bed and stare at the fish tank. Coming in here usually calms me down. For the first time, I wonder if becoming a boarder is really worth it. I'll have to leave my mom and Simon behind.

Suddenly, I hear the front door slam. That must be Simon. Should I get out of his room? Will he think it's weird that I'm here? Before I can get up and leave, he's already stormed into the room. He seems lost and panicked at the same time. He doesn't notice me until I clear my throat.

He looks up. 'Oh,' he says. 'What are you doing here?'

'I ehm...' I stumble. I can see he has cried. 'Are you OK?' I ask him. Simons lips tremble. 'No,' he replies before he breaks down. He sits down next to me on the bed.

'I went after Wilhelm. With Felice. We... I thought I could stop him, I thought he would stay here if I just talked to him. But he was already on his way out. The car didn't even stop. They just kept driving.' His crying has become almost hysterical. It worries me, I've never seen him like this before. He doesn't show emotion often. But maybe he has just always covered it up.

It breaks my heart to see him like this. Barely talking or not, I still see him as my little brother who I have to take care of.

I wrap my arms tightly around him and don't say anything. I've learned that sometimes an understanding silence is better than a bunch of meaningless words. Simon puts his head on my  chest. I don't hear him cry anymore, but I can feel my shirt getting wet from his tears.

After staying like this for a few minutes, I break the silence. 'It's not your fault, Simme,' I whisper.
'No, I know. But I just feel stupid. I feel ashamed of how stupid I was to think running after him would stop him,' he says while wiping his cheeks. 'Right now, I'm not even sure if I really loved him.'

'Don't say that,' I immediately respond. 'I know you're hurting now, but you don't know the way I saw you act when you were with him. I could see you loved him, Simon. You were... You were sunshine.'

Simon snorts. 'Sorry, that sounded stupid, I know,' I say. 'But trust me. You really loved him. I had never seen you as happy as then. You almost turned into a non-stop smiling golden retriever.' I give him a kiss on his hair.

I finally see him smile. 'Thanks,' he says softly. 'I missed this. I missed having a sister,' Simon says.

Now I'm the one who tries not to show emotion. 'I know, and I'm sorry. I'll be a better sister. Things will get better, I promise you.'

We keep laying down on his bed for half an hour, until we hear our mom come home from work. She knocks on Simons door and walks in without waiting for a response.

I can tell she's surprised to see us together. 'Hi,' she says with her voice a bit higher than normal. 'Are you OK? What happened?' she asks Simon. She must've seen his red eyes.

'It's OK. I'm fine now, thanks,' Simon replies. Mom sits down next to us. I get a deja vu from when we were younger. When Simon or I couldn't sleep, we would always crawl with my mom onto his bed.

Mom strokes Simons arm. 'Wilhelm is leaving. He's going to England,' Simon tells her.

'I know. I'm so sorry,' my mom replies.
'Thanks. Wait, how did you know? Did all the parents get an email or something?'

My mom hesitates. 'No, I ehm saw an interview of him on tv, just an hour ago. It was prerecorded though. But...' she sighs. 'Wilhelm also came over here last week.'

Simon shoots up. 'What? He came over? And you didn't tell me?' His voice is raised.

'I'm sorry, but he asked me not to tell you. He had a package for you, actually,' my mom says innocently. 'I was supposed to give it to you. He said it was important.'

I don't want to be between them when the argument becomes heated. 'I got to make a call,' I excuse myself while sliding of the bed. 'This seems more like a conversation between mother and son I guess.'

I walk out and close the door while I hear both of their raised voices. I get to my own room and grab my phone.

I dial the number of the headmaster. He almost immediately picks up. 'Hello?' he says.

'H-hi, this is Sara. I was supposed to call you tomorrow, but I've already made my decision.'

I bite my lip. 'I want to thank you again for the offer. But I've decided not to become a boarder. I'm staying home.'