till the end of the time (sambucky)

Chapter 2

...

"Okay, so..." Sam starts talking but Sarah cuts him off from the distance as she gets closer. "There should be a three-sixteenths bolt that goes in the big gear-"

"Excuse me. No!" Sarah comes to us. "No, no."

"Nope," I say too.

"You didn't even look!" Sam says with an insulted face.

"I didn't have to." I mess with him. "Hi, Sarah." I wave to her.

Sam looks at me.

Relax Sam, I have no intentions of dating your sister. I prefer you.

Of course, I keep that for myself.

"I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are," Sarah says to Sam.

"Yep, Samuel." I agree with Sarah to mess with Sam again.

"In our defense, we were supposed to be done long before you woke up," Sam says with a smile on his face. He looks really happy.

"I don't come up to the sky to tell you how to barrel roll, so don't come down here and start messing around with things you clearly don't understand," Sarah says and I try not to laugh at Sam's shocked yet offended face.

"Wow. Wow." Sam says still being hurt.

"Bye. Off. Thank you, gentlemen. Appreciate you. I love you, bro." Sarah says and we leave.

"She's a very mean person," Sam says to me while walking away.

I laugh. "It's tough love," I say back.

"No. If you did what I told you to do, we would have been done before any of this took place."

...

Sam and I went to his backyard to practice throwing his shield.

"Feels weird...Picking it up again." Sam says and throws the shield again and it comes back onto my arm. "The legacy of that shield is complicated, to say the least," Sam says again.

"When Steve told me what he was planning, I don't think either of us understood what it felt like for a black man to be handed the shield. How could we? I owe you an apology." I say and hand him the shield back. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." He says softly and takes the shield.

"Whatever happened with Walker, it wasn't your fault. I get it. It's just that shield's the closest thing I've got left to a family. So when you retired it, it made me feel like I had nothing left. Made me question everything. You, Steve, me. You know, I've got his, uh... I've got his book. And, uh... I just figured if it worked for him then it'd work for me." I say and take a deep breath because I'm so close to starting crying. I can't believe I've just said this all to Sam. I feel good that I told someone about this.

"I understand, man. But Steve is gone. And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." He throws the shield again and it falls onto my arm again. "Let me ask you. You still having those nightmares?" he asks and glances at me. I can't lie to him. Because, well, it's him.

"All the time," I tell the truth. "It means I remember. It means that a part of me is still there. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier's still in me." I answer and throw the shield and he catches it. "I feel better when I'm-" I realize what I was about to say and stop.

"You feel better when you what?" He asks. There's no going back now.

"When I- When I'm around you," I admit.

"Oh...Well, I'm glad to help. You up for a little tough love?" He asks shyly. I look up to him. "You want to climb out of the hell you're in, do the work. Do it." He says.

"I've been making amends," I say and I know what he's going to say.

"Nah. You weren't amending, you were avenging. You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Winter Soldier because you thought it would bring you closure." I don't know what to say. He's correct. "You go to these people and say "sorry" because you think it'll make you feel better, right? But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them and be of service. I'm sure there's at least one person in that book who needs closure about something and you're the only person who can give it to them." He says with so much affection that makes me want to cry.

"Probably a dozen," I say.

"That's cool. Start with one." He looks at me.

I didn't know I can feel better just from one talk. The way I feel when I'm with Sam is something I haven't felt with Steve. I feel...safe. And at peace.

"Good talk," I say and smile.

He laughs.

We shake hands and get close to each other.

"You know Karli won't quit," Sam says with a smile on his face.

"Ah, you call me when you have a lead and I'll be there, 'cause I'm with you till the end of the time."

I did not just say that I-

He blushes. God, what have I done?

"New phrase with me. I like it," he says and smiles even more.

"Yeah, decided to go with that so I hope you won't leave me like Steve did," I say and look away with my hand still in his.

He squeezes it tight.

"I would never leave you, Buck."

"I know." I don't, but I feel the honesty in that sentence. "Not necessarily as a team, right?" I joke and start walking

"Nope," he says and starts following me.

"We're...not that good."

"Definitely not."

"We're professionals."

"Definitely." he agrees.

"And, uh, we're partners." I wish.

"Co-workers." He raises a finger gun.

"But we're also a couple of guys with a mutual friend," I remember Steve.

"Friend's now gone."

"So we're a couple of guys." I've concluded.

"I can live with that." Something about that didn't sound right. For both of us.

"Perfect." I agree with him. He laughs and I turn to him to face him once again before I leave to listen to his advice.

"Thanks for the help, man." He stops and stares at me. "Meant a lot."

"Of course." I tap his shoulder. "Thanks for...making me feel better," I say and smile a little.

"Always." He smiles too and blushes.

"See you soon, Sam."

"See you, Buck."

I start walking and then stopped to look at him once again. He's still there watching me.

This would be a good time to kiss him, right? But I'm not ready yet.

I need to make people I've hurt as the Winter Soldier better.

I leave.

~A/N~

Hi guys! In next chapter I will start writing events from episode 6 <3 Love yall and I hope you like this. Stay safe everyone <3