Irreplaceable (Nomin)

7

Over all Jeno's little study group is going well. Taeyong made a bunch of snacks, surprising Jeno who really appreciates his efforts to be motherly in times like these.
As promised Jaemin went home with him and everyone else came later. Although everyone wanted a tour of his room they chose to study in the living room since they needed more space. Chenle is sat next to Renjun, holding his hand for comfort as Jisung showed up too. He's sitting in the corner a little gloomy since he feels like everyone hates him. Mark is sat next to Jeno with Jaemin on the other side. Haechan of course didn't want Mark to forget he exists so he sat on the floor in front of his legs and leans back into him when necessary.
"Can I ask you a question?" Renjun asks looking directly at Jeno.
"You can ask, I won't guarantee I'll answer though." Renjun smirks and nods.
"Fair enough, are you transitioning?" Jeno frowns, it's not the first time he's been asked and he's sure it won't be the last but he thinks it's a bit personal. Jaemin scowls at him and puts his arm around Jeno.
"That's too personal don't you think?" He asks irritated.
"I'm just curious. If he doesn't want to answer he doesn't have to." Jaemin shakes his head but keeps quiet when he gets a soft look from Jeno.
"I'm not transitioning. I'm not a girl I just like wearing feminine clothing I guess, in fact I've always thought that the label of girl clothes and boy clothes is a sexist idea anyway. Some girls like to wear pants all the time and it's no big deal but when I want to wear a skirt or put on some makeup I'm a freak. I just..." He pauses as he can feel a blush appearing.
"I just like to feel pretty." He says shyly making everyone in the room coo.
"Well, I think you are very pretty and very brave. Sorry if my question was out of line." Renjun says softly. Jeno smiles.
"It's ok, being curious is one thing, if you were judging me then I would be upset." Jaemin, with his arm still being on his shoulders, squeezes him slightly earning a small smile. They continue to study but after a while Jeno is feeling bad for Jisung because he looks uncomfortable and invites him to help in the kitchen, which he gladly accepts.
"I just thought you looked like you wanted to get away." Jeno says as he grabs a bunch of sodas and water bottles. Jisung sighs and sits on a stool.
"It's hard to watch Chenle holding Renjun's hand like that." He says tiredly.
"Oh yeah? Is there something we should know?" Jisung's face heats up realizing what he said, but it quickly turns into a deep sadness as the tears start pouring out of his eyes. Jeno is quick to set everything down and pull him into a hug.
"It's s-so, h-hard t-to see him every day and know I h-hurt him s-so badly." Jeno shushes him and rubs his back. He holds him until the shaking stops.
It doesn't take too long before he pulls away sniffling.
"How did your parents feel when you like, came out and when you started dressing this way?" He asks still sniffling. Jeno smiles sadly.
"They left us. I live with my brother and his boyfriend as my guardians, they've been my honorary parents for two years." Jisung is shocked.
"Really? That must be so hard." Jeno shrugs.
"It was very hard at first but I knew that if I wanted to be true to myself I need to let that chapter go. They don't want me and I'll live without them just fine." Jisung cries again.
"You are so brave. Thank you." Jeno frowns.
"For?" He asks curiously.
"For being brave and for coming to this school and for being my friend. You inspire me, I'm so happy I met you." Jisung says feeling great full to have met Jeno.
"Thank you for having me tonight but I don't think I can take much more, I'm going to go home now." He says softly. Jeno offers him one last hug before walking him to the door. He goes back in the kitchen and grabs the drinks before going back with the others.
"There you are, did you guys bake a cake?" Mark jokes as Jaemin stands and helps him take the drinks out of his hands.
"Jisung went home, he didn't feel like studying anymore so we talked and I walked him out." They were all kind of surprised which annoyed Jeno and Chenle tried to hide it but he was a little disappointed, after all he is in love with him still.
"Psh, what he can't handle being near Chenle?"Haechan asks, he's always been more on Chenle's side since he feels like he is the same, except his feelings are for Mark. Jeno frowns and shakes his head.
"Maybe it's not my place, I haven't known any of you for very long but." He pauses nervously as everyone is staring at him.
"Don't you think Jisung could use some support too? I mean he can't help the way he feels and now he's lost his best friend and nobody comforts him, he's human too. It's not like he wanted to hurt Chenle." He looks down waiting for everyone to turn on him but they mostly just quietly agree, which shocks him. Chenle is just staring at the floor at this point, rethinking everything and feeling terrible.
"I'm sorry, I need to go too." Chenle says quickly wiping his eyes. He runs to the door before anyone can stop him and runs toward the direction he thinks Jisung could be. He gets all the way to Jisung's house and never catches him. He doesn't have the nerve to go up to the house so he backs away, vowing to apologize first thing Monday morning at school.
The others try to get more studying done at least until Haechan starts acting silly to lighten the mood and starts making everyone laugh. Mark has the worst of it, Haechan has always had the ability to make him lose his mind if he really tries. Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun are all starting to feel like they are third wheeling their night.
When Jeno starts to clean up, of course Jaemin is on his feet in an instant to help him. He follows him into the kitchen with a bunch of soda cans and starts putting them in the recycle.
"Hey." Jaemin says touching the small of Jeno's back. Jeno turns with a blinding smile knocking the wind out of the other yet again. He gasps out loud which makes Jeno frown.
"Are you ok?" Jeno asks innocently. Jaemin nods yes and collects himself. He stares directly into his eyes as he always has a hard time looking away, especially when they make eye contact.
"Uh, I was g-going to ask if you will come to dinner at my house next week sometime? My parents will be home in the evening next week and my mom really wants to meet you." Jeno looks down avoiding the others gaze.
"It's not what you think, really. It's just that I've talked about how great you are and she wants to meet you." Jeno frowns.
"I wasn't thinking like that, I know we aren't, well uh b-boyfriends or anything." He pauses feeling awkward after saying that, so Jaemin takes his hand in his to comfort him as he speaks.
"It's just m-my parents, before they left were really mean and they always looked at me like I was disgusting." Jaemin pulls him into his arms as he watches the tears roll down his cheeks.
"I promise you my parents won't do that. They won't judge you like that and I'm certain they will love you." Jaemin says confidently.
"I'll think about it, is that ok?" Jaemin smiles softly.
"Of course it's ok." They separate finally, reluctantly as they both really enjoy the warmth and security the other provides.
"Thank you, for considering it even though it's hard for you." Jeno smiles and starts to finish cleaning up, with Jaemin dutifully doing the same.
"You know, no matter what you will always have my support." Jaemin says, and Jeno hums.
"You know? If anyone ever hurts you or says mean things to you I will be there for you. I would never want to see you get hurt." Jeno smiles brightly before quickly walking up and hugging Jaemin.
"Thank you, that means so much. Sometimes I wish there were more people like you in the world then I realize just how stupid that is because you are special, and there can only be one. I'm just happy I was lucky enough to meet the one and only Na Jaemin." This time Jaemin blushes as Jeno kisses his cheek.

After everyone leaves Jeno collapses on his bed and almost doesn't look at his phone when he receives a text but reaches for it anyway.
It's from a private number which he normally wouldn't even open but something tells him to do it.

Unknown: I'm watching you. And this is our little secret. If you tell your brother's boyfriend to check this number someone will die. Good night baby boy.

He quickly throws his phone and gets up to shut his shades. He shakily shuts his phone off and puts it on his nightstand. He can't respond, he's too terrified. He cries himself to sleep thinking that it's all happening again, someone must be pranking him and it hurts like nothing else.