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edith disturbia is also a personal one for me. it's okay not to be okay, but don't be not okay forever. ok i know that doesn't really make sense but you get what i'm trying to say. when i wrote this i was completely out of myself and i wasn't me. and i couldn't take myself out of that dark hole at first, i needed help and i got that. keep fucking going, i love y'all. thanks to my girl riri for helping with this song. ilysm
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edith eyes slowly open, the feeling of someone's hand gently caressing her face. loving how it smoothly runs through her cheek, gliding a finger down her jaw, slowly using their thumb to touch her bottom lip. parting them. and then softly moves to her ear, pushing her hair back. she hums when they started to play with her hair. edith opens her eyes.
she did freak out just a little when it was harry staring at her with a goofy smile. she cuddled more into him and he stopped, covering her face with his whole hand. she laughed, it was quiet and bright. she missed this so much. "um. last night, did we?" harry immediately shook his head. "no. after performing disturbia. which i absolutely loved, everyone got fucked up again. i carried you here, you told me to stay." edith covered her face with her hands.
"last night was fun." she mumbled into his chest. "it was, wasn't it." then it went silent. "rem." she hums. "writing disturbia." edith looks at him staring at her wall. "the way you felt. was that because of me?" she sighs, tracing his tattoos. "i figured the meaning was that you were drowning and you couldn't swim back up. but explain please. just a little more." he said. "um. writing disturbia. i had fallen into bad habits, you know how i cope and it isn't healthy." he nods.
"yeah. i started drinking and smoking a lot more. and then i didn't even realize, i started skipping meals. and i was losing pounds a lot. found it so fucking hard to eat, i would cry shoving my food down. i don't know, i just felt kinda empty but i feel like that's a little over dramatic like holland told me." harry stops her. "hey no. it's not over dramatic." she smiled softly. "i just couldn't pick myself up. i pushed everyone away until i finally got help. it was actually like 4 am in some studio i booked." harry nods, continuing to listen.
"and i totally forgot it was booked too. it was actually bruno mars." she laughed. his eyes widen. "what? really." he shifted her body fully towards her. "yeah. funny story. you remember that girl i dated. the one that stole some money and just left." he nods shaking his head at the memory. "natalie." he said. "yeah turns out she also got him as well. he fell for it and she stole his money. but he also saw me come in with tears. he wouldn't leave until i told him what happened."
"he's the first person i actually ever told about everything i guess." she said, playing with his hands. "not even calum." harry asked and she shook her head. "mmm. you still talk to him?" she nods "yes. all the time actually but it's just never when you guys are around.. and the way i felt. it was actually just after what happened between us. and barbara. it's that everything else kept piling on it and i just couldn't breathe i guess."
