Kaz Brekker imagines

Love Without Reason

"Why?"

At this question Y/N starts asking herself how she got in this situation in the first place.

Thanks to Jesper... Always has to be talking.

Actually, it started before that.

Four years eleven months and fifteen days ago Kaz Brekker found her sitting on the roof of the Slat and offered her a place among the Dregs.

Four years five months and twenty seven days ago was when she realized she had caught feelings for him. Kaz 'Dirtyhands' Brekker. The Bastard of the Barrel.

How did it happen? She couldn't tell you if she wanted to. Over time Y/N became Kaz's second. The person he trusted the most, she would even say maybe the closest thing he had to a friend...

Until Inej came along. She became his best spy, his most trusted. Y/N felt this tidal wave of jealousy every time she saw them whispering in the corner of the room or when she followed him up to his room to discuss plans for the next heist. But she couldn't hate Inej for that, it wasn't her fault and she never gave her a reason to hate her directly anyway.

But that didn't stop her from feeling a sense of abandonment all over again.

When Y/N was nine her parents left her at their house by herself and never came back home. Once she turned twelve she moved to Ketterdam and found a life for herself.

Never would she have imagined that at seventeen she would actually be confronted about her long time crush.

"I don't know what you expect me to say. I can't explain why... feelings happen." She shrugged and leaned back in the chair that was claimed as her own in front of his desk.

"No it's just-" He let out an exasperated sigh and ran his gloveless hands through his hair. "This isn't easy for me, you know that right? Talking about... this."

Her nod, the only response he got in return.

"I just want to know why... me? Of all people. Me?"

Now it was her turn to sigh.

"Kaz, people fall in love without reason, without even wanting to. You can't predict it. It just happens."

"Y/N-" She interrupted him by pacing the floor and wringing her hands together.

"I'm sorry if it's an inconvenience to you, since I know you don't feel the same way. But it's not like I willed myself to love you. And all the same, I- I can't will myself to stop loving you. So, I'm sorry. But p- please, don't let this change anything in our friendship. I- I can't lose you too. You, Jesper, Inej. You guys are the only family I have left. Please don't kick me out, Kaz."

By now Y/N has tears streaming down her cheeks, a hiccup stuck in the back of her throat and her over dramatic mind working on over-drive.

After a few moments of silence, she looked up at him and saw an amused smile on his face and his eyes full of adoration. He stood up from his chair and moved in front of her, placing his hands on her clothed shoulders. After taking a deep breath he started talking,

"Y/N, first off, I don't know where you got the idea of me kicking you out... But I can promiss that would never happen. And secondly, what if I said I loved you too?"

Her head snapped up in surprise "Really?"

He nodded, "Yes. But, I just-"

"I know. If you're willing to try, I'm willing to try. We will go at your pace." He smiled a grateful smile down at her and placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead.

They both closed their eyes and just cherished the moment. Not a worry in the world. Just them smiling, eyes closed, with the same thought.

People fall in love without reason.