A Court of Light and Melody

Chapter 40 - Linger

"Well, what if you tell me what it's like and then I realize it already happened for me and I was first?"

"Then I won't believe you."

"You think I'd lie?"

"I think you'd do anything to best someone," corrected Azriel. "And also, there's no way you would not know. If it had happened for you, you would know. Trust me."

"Gods, Shadowsinger, out with it."

Azriel took a gulp of his drink, supplementing what Gwyn assumed to be courage rather than eloquence - the shadowsinger was not one to wear his heart on his sleeve and he was about to do just that.

"Let me preface, I don't know what triggered it or why it happened at that moment. So before you ask, no, I don't know how it works," Azriel began. He leaned forward on the table, Gwyn matched his posture. The shadowsinger lowered his voice. "It was very sudden and it felt like the earth was moving beneath my feet. It felt like time had slowed and that some sort of tether developed. One I can't see, but I know is meant for you." A shrug. "That's it."

Frowning, Gwyn slouched. "Well, I don't feel any tether..."

"I must like you more then," he snickered.

His words were lighthearted but Gwyn did feel a fraction of guilt, or rather envy that her side of the bond hadn't snapped yet.

"Do you feel any different about me in particular?" Gwyn asked, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger. "Has anything changed?"

Azriel angled his head, a thoughtful expression in his eyes. "I can't quite define the feeling, but it is... different, knowing for certain that you and I are... are mates." He blinked and stared into his drink. "We identified it more than a month ago and I was confident to say the least, but there's something different about the assurance after the bond snapped."

"That's not what I asked," murmured Gwyn. "I asked if anything felt different about me in particular."

If Gwyn was being honest with herself, Tamlin's words had stuck with her. He'd called Azriel a man in love. He'd said the shadowsinger's "love" for Gwyn was "burgeoning." Did Azriel love her? Did that mean she should love him back? Did she already love him? For how long? Wait, what if she loved him now and he didn't love her back?

A shadow on Azriel's shoulder coiled below his jaw and Gwyn noticed the flicker in his eyes. It had told him something.

Gwyn took a swig of the dark liquid, then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "What did they say?"

"The usual." His tone was nonchalant. "That you are concerned and curious and that I should find out why." Azriel shook his head. "They grow disappointed on the rare instances where you aren't forthcoming about your emotions."

"Did they say what I'm concerned and curious about?"

"No. They are discerning but not quite that discerning, I'm afraid." His expression was free of any judgment. "Do you care to share your thoughts?"

Gwyn inhaled and exhaled. He was her mate. And sometimes that didn't mean anything, but sometimes it did.

"I am curious that since the mating bond has snapped into place for you, if it means that you..." Gods, why was this so hard? Gwyn offered a sheepish smile. "That you love me."

She waited for him to gasp or cough or recoil. But Azriel only sat before her, wings tucked in tight and shadows hovering on his shoulders with anticipation.

"You think the mating bond snapped into place for me yesterday because that is when I realized that I was in love with you?"

"I know it sounds ridiculous," she admitted. "I only know what I've read in books about mating bonds and we've barely known each other, what? Eight months? Nine? So—"