I wake up almost everyday at 1-3pm. It was a unhealthy habit but what could I do about it. I loved sleeping. It was almost as if it was some sort of escape,from nothing of course. My life was great , most of the time . I had great friends, and a really supportive family.but I felt lonely , not that I was , but I was a little ... empty? I don't know how to say it but something was missing. Wether it be the warm feeling of being loved and cradled by another or wanting a hug for reassurance. It could have been both but I was too dumb to know.
I spoke to many boys, all ages , sizes , personality's. All of them. From roadmen to pick me boys. Ew. It was a funny little cycle I had , but no one ever settled in my life , I would attract only to kill them off sooner or later . Unintentionally of course. Well... most. I wasn't great in relationships.being the one to do everything for tiring , for me , but the other person would end up making the decision to leave . The thought of abandoning another person made me feel cruel. Tho I could do it so easily , I chose not to. It wasn't.. me?
It was now 1pm , an average morning for me. Waking up , popping downstairs to get a drink , and back up in my little cave I call my room. Looking in the mirror , I decide what outfit I will chose to wear , the choices where a small chocolate brown dress , with a lace overcoat. Or , a basic pair of leggings with a brown top , imprinted with a small black butterfly. I didn't have many plans today so I chose the basic sort of set. Looking in the mirror after finishing my makeup I feel pretty , rather stunning you could say . But this feeling was ephemeral. Quite funny actually...but oh well.
