Enemy Beloved

34 | something more

"So, you're okay with it?" I ask, not hiding the amusement in my voice. "You won't mind?"

"Why would I mind, Claire? You fucking need it!" He closes his eyes and presses the sides of his nose with his index fingers. "I think it's better if Rose teaches you. I don't want to invite a third person into the house."

"Why can't you teach me?" I touch his shoulder with one hand and with the other one, I reach for his chin and make him face me. "Chris told me that you know martial arts. Why can't you train me?"

"I..." His cheeks flush red and he bites his lip. "I can't, Claire. I'm not allowed to."

"What do you mean?" I get on my knees, dragging them until I am in front of him so that we are both facing each other. "You mean because of your work at the office? I understand that Vaughn, but maybe you can spare me just a few hours a week. That should do. Right?"

He gives me a faint, barely-there smile while the look in his eyes dull, something sad replacing the warmth.

"Claire..." He grabs my hands, lifting my knuckles to his lips and pressing a soft kiss. "Chris was right. I used to learn martial arts but I stopped four years ago."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"That accident...it injured me badly," he begins, looking at our joined hands with a blank look. "I...I got a blood clot in my heart. The doctors had to perform surgery to unclog it. Ever since then, I have been warned against injuring myself in any way. They said that if the clot comes back, which it is very likely to, I might not survive. It's one of the reasons I get nosebleeds often. I can fight but if I get injured, it'll cost me my life."

I suck in a breath, my body going cold at his words. When I don't say anything, he lifts his head to meet my eyes. He squeezes my hands softly, licking his lips.

"I'm sorry if you're embarrassed to hear that," he continues. "I know it feels like a coward to be afraid to die...but it's not my choice, Claire. My death won't be my own. It'll end my family with me and I can't let that happen. My mom and sister are dependent on me. This house, this business that my father worked so hard for...it's all on my shoulders now. If I die, it all dies with me and if that makes me a coward to death, then be it. I'm not sacrificing my family for that."

He releases my hands, shifting his body to put his feet down from the bed. He leans forward with his elbows on his knees, haphazardly rubbing his face. My heart beats steadily as it replays his words in my mind. I had little idea about Vaughn's treatment. Ever since the accident, the connection between our families was cut-off for more than a few months. It was only after time passed that things settled down with the heat still high.

I drag my knees towards him again. The movement makes him look at me and I lift a hand to touch his hair, letting the short stands slip out from between my fingers. Without further thought, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close until my head is lying on his shoulder.

"Vaughn..." I whisper in his ear. "I'm not embarrassed by you. Never ever think like that again."

He moves his hands, circling my waist and hugging me back as he presses his lips on my shoulder, inhaling soft breaths. We stay like that for a while, with his chest against mine, his fingers playing with the strands of my hair as we sway rhythmically.

When I pull away, I find the smile on his face back. "Thanks, blondie."

"Will Rose teach me then?" I ask, my hands moving to the hem of his T-shirt and he lifts his hands as I make him slip out of it. I lean forward and place a kiss on his neck.

"She will. She forced me to teach her years ago." He laughs, putting a hand on the nape of my neck and bringing our mouths together for a delicious kiss.

I part his lips with my tongue and slip it in to meet his. He tastes of the mint toothpaste in our bathroom mixed with cinnamon. He pulls me to his lap as we kiss and slips a hand under my T-shirt, pressing one of my boobs hard. I am not wearing a bra underneath and that makes his touch even more exciting.

I break away from him and hurriedly get rid of the T-shirt. It touches the stitches on my face and I wince.

"Be careful," Vaughn says, helping me out of the T-shirt. I find him looking at the damaged side of my face with his jaw set, anger crossing his eyes. "I'm sorry he did this to you..." He touches my undamaged cheek and brushes his thumb over the cheekbone, speaking softly. "I promise he will pay for it. Whoever he is, he'll pay."

"It's fine," I chuckle, throwing my T-shirt somewhere in the room and cupping Vaughn's face to kiss him again. "As long as I have you and your promises, I doubt I need to worry."

He flips me over, making me lie on my back as his fingers work on my bottoms, pulling them down. "Can I?"

I nod slowly. We haven't had sex in the past two weeks. He didn't even touch me, afraid that I might get repulsed after the trauma I have been through. Tonight, I feel a little bit braver after hearing him share his story. If he can learn to sacrifice a part of himself to live for his family, then I can be my old self too. No masked man can take that away from me.

Soon, our clothes are scattered on the floor and he thrusts inside me in one swift move after putting a condom on. Since the doctor included an anxiety med on my list of medicines, she asked me to avoid taking the birth-control pill for the time being until my course is over. It disappoints me a little since I like having Vaughn bare inside me but at least we can still have sex.

I wrap my legs around his back as he puts an arm around the top of my head. He hides his face in the crook of my neck, groaning as our hips roll together and my eyes squeeze shut, the heat between us intensifying. His fingers move to my clit, playing with it, pushing me closer to the edge.

It is perhaps in that moment that I feel the first flicker of that emotion. The emotion that has never been mine and all of a sudden, the need in me rises much more and I find myself pressing him closer, even though we are at the closest connection shared between two people. Still, it's not enough. I am craving something more. Much more than sex. Tears sting my eyes at the realization.

This isn't enough. Something is wrong with me. I am craving Vaughn Jackson's heart and that's not something I should be doing. This is supposed to be for six months. I can't ask more of him just because he is being affectionate to me. He has always been affectionate, even when he was forbidden.

My walls clench around him, muscles tightening, and with another thrust of his hips against mine, I come undone with him following just behind me.

"Vaughn..." I whisper in a shaking voice when we have come down from our highs. "Please don't make me fall in love with you."

Silence is his only response.