I Don't Care

“Kaylene, I think we should see other people.”

My heart broke at those six simple words I looked up at Scott’s face, blank asides from the obvious discomfort on his face.

“Why?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just … not the same anymore.” I pursed my lips together, desperately trying to swallow that lump inside my throat. My mind flew through my old memories of him and I, all the times where we laughed. Hugged. Kissed.

I shook my head, in hopes of clearing some of my thoughts. “If that’s what you want. We’re still going to be friends though, right?”

He nodded his head before he brought his arms around me, pulling me to his torso. “I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head, wrapping my own arms around him. “Don’t be.”

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I watched the couple across the cafeteria, my hands clenched into fists as he cuddled with the brunette. He, as in my ex boyfriend.

“Let it go,” my friend, Jakob told me, rubbing small circles on my back as a way to calm me down. “You guys did break up three weeks ago.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, although technically, we’re on a break.”

It was Jakob’s turn to roll his eyes. “I don’t know why you are so hung up about him.”

I took all my anger out to punch Jakob in the shoulder. “Shut up!”

He whined as he rubbed his shoulder as I crossed my arms. “I don’t see why your so mad for. For the most part, besides him getting that brunette to be his girlfriend, you guys still act like a couple.”

I scrunched my face up together. “No we don’t.”

He clicked his tongue as a finger wagged in front of my face. “Kaylene, Kaylene. You don’t see it, do you. That boy is obviously still in love with you. But he’s a stupid fucktard. So he’s going after the big-breasted girl who is a member of the cheer squad.”

I mocked him as I grouched in my seat, not happy to hear the truth that came from his mouth.

“And besides, Kaylene. He still walks you to and from classes and-“

“Not like I’m making him do it,” I cut in, glaring at him. He shrugged.

“Still, your technically allowing Scott to cheat on that girl with you.”

I scoffed. “It’s not like we kiss or hug or anything like that. He just walks me to classes and talks to me. Anything friends would do.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “…You’re so naïve, Kaylene, it’s pitiful.”

I sighed, feeling defeat lay heavily on my shoulders. “…I know.”

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“Kaylene, do you need a ride home?” I heard Scott ask me. I sighed, before nodding my head.

“Yeah, if your girlfriend doesn’t mind.”

He shrugged. “She has practice.”

I rolled my eyes, but got into his car nonetheless. The entire 5- minute car ride to my house was silent, the tension thickening as each second passed. As he pulled up into my driveway, he cut the engine and I began to climb out. “Do you want to come in?” I asked, followed by the slam of the driver’s door. “Guess that means a yes,” I mumbled to myself as I looked in my bag for my set of keys. I opened the door and led the way into the living room, taking a seat on one of the couches as Scott sat next to me.

“So, how’s life?” I asked him. He shrugged.

“It’s okay, I guess.”

Silence fell on us.

“You know, I wish we were still dating,” Scott said out loud, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I sighed.

“Honestly, Scott. I’d love it if we were still dating. I think a this point, if you broke up with her and asked me out, I’d probably act like the past few weeks hadn’t happened.

He nodded his head. “I … don’t know if I can do that.”

I shrugged, ignoring the ripping feeling in my heart. “I wasn’t asking you to.”

He sighed before he scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around me, burying his face into my neck. “I miss us though…” he trailed off.

I rubbed his back, trying to comfort him, not used to seeing him sad. “You know you can’t have both,” I said gently, my fingers now running through his hair. He shook his head and whined like a kid, which brought a smile to my face.

And we spent the rest of the afternoon in each other’s arms. Just like the old times.

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“I love you,” I heard Scott say as he drove me home again. He’s given me rides home for about a month now and ever since the first ride home, he’s taken a habit of telling me that “he loves me”.

I sighed. My patience for him was wearing thin. “If you loved me, than you obviously wouldn’t be with her,” I said, giving him a pointed glance. He pouted, causing me to heave out a sigh.

“I don’t know why you’re with her if you don’t like her.”

He shook his head. “I … like her,” he said hesitantly. I rolled my eyes.

“Sure, sure.”

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“SHUT UP!” I yelled, covering my ears as Scott stood over me, trying to pat my back in the deserted hallways. But upon me snapping at him, he backed off. “Stop telling me you love me. Just stop it!”

He shook his head. “But I do.”

I glared at him through watery eyes. “If you did, you wouldn’t be with her!”

His jaw tightened visibly as he looked at me with hard eyes. “I’m not going to break up with her.”

“Then stop saying you love me,” I snapped.

“But I do!”

“Go fucking die!”

He screamed in frustration, his fist tightened. “I love him too, goddammit!”

I looked at his eyes in confusion. Him? I thought a bit before something clicked. “How long?” I whispered, dropping down to the ground.

He looked at me confused. “How long what?”

I took in a shaky breath before I elaborated on my question. “How long was she pregnant already?”

He was silent.

“Four months. The baby’s gonna be a boy and I can’t leave him.”

I shook my head, tears falling from my eyes. “I can’t believe you.”

I stood up and snatched my bag up and glared at him. “I give up with you. You fucking lied to me, you ass! Don’t talk to me or else I’ll get Jakob to beat you, which he’ll gladly do once he hears of this.”

I stomped off and as I entered the parking lot, I couldn’t help but hear the sound of flesh meeting stone.

As I walked through the parking lot, my body fell into a state of numbness as I walked over to Jakob and asked him for a ride home, promising to explain later.

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As the months passed, I hardly saw Scott again. The brunette dropped out of school after four more months and Jakob promised to never let Scott near me again. But I can’t avoid him forever.

And today, the day of my graduation, I saw him. He stood amongst the crowd who was watching us receive our diplomas. I sighed before I gave him a generic smile, a smile I would give a stranger. And as the principal placed the diploma into my hand, a thought popped up into my head.

I don’t care. Not anymore