Hiraeth [GxG]

Chapter 3

I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and gave myself a mental pep talk. Once I felt my emotions were in check, I got out of the car and headed inside. Once inside, I saw the kids at the table working on what looked like some homework.

"You already have homework?" I walked over to them.

"I wouldn't consider it homework. They're very simple papers, just asking about us, our families, and hobbies. We get to present tomorrow in class. Then this paper is where we draw our favorite moment." I hummed.

"I see. At least it's easy and sounds like some fun. I'm going to start dinner now. Once you both are done with your homework, head up and get ready for dinner." They said okay and got back to their assignments.

I was in the middle of cooking when I heard the front door open. Then, I heard footsteps grow closer to the kitchen. Each one sounded heavy, and soon I felt it hit me like a ton of bricks. Emma was breaking at the seams. Luckily the kids were upstairs; I know they would be very concerned.

"Oh, baby." I closed the distance between us and engulfed her in a hug. She snuggled her face deeper into the crook of my neck and took a deep breathtaking in my scent. I could feel her relax but only a little bit.

"She's only 8." I pulled back a little and saw the tears in her eyes. I could feel my brows furrowing, showing my confusion.

"A little girl. She has the virus. She's only 8." Her voice was wavering. She collapsed back into me, hugging me tightly.

"The things she was feeling. Her thoughts. It kills me. I feel like I was crumpled up and then ripped to shreds." I rubbed her lower back and kissed the side of her head.

"I know that must have been hard. I'm so sorry, love. Go ahead upstairs and get cleaned up. Dinner is almost ready. We'll talk more about this later." She nodded weakly and walked her way to the stairs. Her shoulders were slumped. Rarely have I ever seen her this distressed. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her this distressed.

Everyone had filed in by the time I platted the food and set them on the table in our spots. Looking at Emma, I could see past her facade, but she was still very convincing. We all ate and talked about our days. The kids were really the only ones talking. They had a great day at school. I'm glad their day went well. I looked over at Emma and noticed she hadn't touched much of her food. I get it, it's bland to us, but we still always eat as a family. I grabbed her hand under the table and gave her the heartbeat squeeze. She looked at me with a small smile and did it back. She then mouthed that she loved me too.

Soon the kids were tucked in and fell asleep pretty much as soon as their heads hit their pillows. Emma and I made our way to our room. She immediately started to undress and looked back at me. I followed her lead and stripped down myself. I followed her into the bathroom and got in the shower with her. We just stared at one another, not saying anything, then out of nowhere, I saw the first tear fall from her right eye. Soon many, many more fell, and she collapsed onto me, finally breaking down completely. I just rubbed her back and held her tight. She needed to get this all out, and I know it has been eating her up inside all day. She's had to stay strong all day.

Do you remember what it felt like to be young? To have your whole life ahead of you? You could be anyone, anything? The sky was the limit. Daydreams could become a reality one day. I laid there looking up at the ceiling, still processing everything Emma had told me about the little girl. All of her dreams... aspirations... will never have a chance to play out and possibly come true. She'll never get to experience meeting her soulmate or go to a school dance. She'll never get to experience the world. She's accepted her fate, and that's what keeps swirling around my head the most. An 8-year-old, who has barely existed, has accepted that she'll die. That fucks me up inside, and Emma has had to repress her emotions all day.