Stay Down (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 1

Jada Wright- Wada

Saturday, July 4th- 8:30 pm

I laid in bed reminising about my miscarriage. It's been a year and it still effects me so deeply. I truly believe that I will never get over this hurt. It's like a empty void in my heart that won't seem to go away no matter how hard I try. My thoughts were interrupted by my name being called. I felt a wetness on my face and it dawned on me that I was crying. I hurried up and wiped my face right before my baby lani ran in the door.

"Hey mommy's baby. Did you have fun at nana house?" I asked Lani

"Yes. I missed you so much mommy" She replied

"I missed you too lani" I cooed as I hugged her and kissed all over her face. "Where dada at?"

"I tink he in da kitchen" she replied. She was growing too fast. I feel like everyday she was learning to pronounce words better and everytime it got me so emotional. After a few more minutes of catching up on her weekend at my moms, zy'aire walked up to the door and leaned on it.

"Hey mamas." He finally said after just staring at me.

"Hey Zy." I replied with a small smile.

"You good?" He asked as he came and kissed my forehead.

"I'm fine Zy. You don't need to ask me that everytime you see me." I said playfully rolling my eyes.

"You should be used to this now." He laughed. "Ight na come on lani. Let's go watch some tv so mommy can get ready." Zy'aire said and lani ran out the room.

"Why you was crying?" Zy asked.

"Boy what you talking bout?" I asked trying to play it off.

"Come on now ma, you can lie to anybody but me." He responded.

"Zy, I don't wanna talk about it." I said lowering my head.

"Well you know whenever you do wanna talk, you can talk to me." He said lifting my chin and pecking my lips, leaving to go watch tv with Lani. 

My eyes started watering and I hurried up and blinked them away, getting up and going to my bathroom. I went to my walk in shower and turned the water to the temperature I like. While I was waiting for it to heat up I walked over to the full body mirror on the bathroom door. After  got undressed I just looked in the mirror at myself. 

I have yet to tell Zy about the miscarriage. I would rather take the pain by myself instead of having to put him through what I had been, and still am going through. I know its wrong on all levels cause that's his baby, but, i just don't know.

Wiping my tears, I checked the water and it was how I liked so I hopped in the shower. After my shower I grabbed my towel and walked out the bathroom. I looked up and seen Zy causing me to jump.

"Shit you scared me" I said as I held my chest

"I came up here to get Lani ipad, but I think imma stay now" He said as he smirked

"Unt unt grab it and go" I said as I pointed to the door

He laughed as he grabbed her ipad and walked out. I grabbed my lotion and lotioned myself down. I went into my closet and got my clothes out. After putting on my underwear and bra, I put on my red, white and black checkered shirt that says 'Vans Off The Wall'. I Put on my distressed black jeans and my matching checkered Vans. After getting fully dressed I went into the bathroom and put my box braids in a half up half down style. 

I grabbed the stuff that I needed and went into the living room. I seen that Rah was here too.

"Hey Rah. When you get here?" I asked.