Chapter 17: IT ISNT OVER HA

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A/N: y'all thought that was the end? NOPE... I'm not ending this for a while... *hint hint* I'm still going on with more chapters *hint hint hint*
Harry's POV:
It isn't fair that we have such little time on Earth. I honestly can't say I just recognized this, but it made me realize who I've become, and if I'm willing to be this person, If I want to change.
I want to.
"Harry!" Ron called from outside, "Come play Quidditch!"
"No thanks.." I replied weakly.

I haven't been handling Hermione's death in the best way, and it seems I'll probably never get over it. I'll admit to you though, I cry myself to sleep.
I honestly don't care, I've gotten bags under my eyes, I haven't shaved in forever, and I broke my glasses, by dropping them.
Molly repaired them of course, and I still wear them, but they're pretty big on my head.
Hermione would've known what to do, she would've fixed them right in half-a-heart-beat. It doesn't matter now, she isn't here.
It's been months since her "passing." I still hear her laugh, every time I wish I still could laugh. It's obvious I'm depressed, but I can't bring myself to admit it.
She was just so...innocent. Her parents didn't handle it well. And when I say "not well" I mean Mr. Granger broke the table in half and her mother scream-sobbing. Terrifying.
Ron and his brothers have of course taken the blow, but she wasn't their girlfriend. She was my fiancé actually.

Why can't I ever be happy? Live with someone I love?
Mrs. Weasley and Ginny try to make me leave the house, but when I do, I just stand in one spot, still like a pole. They always end up pushing me back inside.
I loved her, you know. Her parents, no one understood that but her, and still, no one gets it.
I look over to the clock, seeing Mr. Weasley will be home any minute, I walk upstairs to my room. I don't want to be around any human being.
I walked up to my room and collapsed on the bed, unwillingly letting tears flow. I can't help but think she isn't gone, but when I do, it feels even less like she's here.
Mrs. Weasley comes into the room,
"Harry, dear, laundry?" I don't answer.
"I'll just, take the clothes that are all over the floor," she sighed.
She left and I looked up at the wall, of course seeing a moving picture of Ron, Hermione, and I. We were running down the steps in Diagon Alley, we looked so..
Happy.
Never again.

I sob into my pillow, feeling the pain from losing all my loved ones come back. I can't get over the fact that she and everyone I love is gone. Gone.. The word repeats in my head.
Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone?
Impossible. I hear footsteps and moan into my pillow.
"Harry," I hear a woman's voice. Ginny.
"Come to lunch with me, in Diagon Alley," she smiled.
"Ugh. Sure," I moan and look through my clothes, trying to comprehend what matches and what doesn't.

I walk through the hall with Ginny and we make small conversation.
We apparated to the Brick wall before Diagon Alley, and walk into it dismally.
All my misery is forgotten once I see a place I always used to go, for Hogwarts. Once, I think I was just a child, young and, sort of innocent?
Ginny nudges me in the shoulder. "Come to the joke shop!"
I ran behind her, trying to keep up. I haven't ran in what seems like forever. It's just-too much.
"Bloody hell, Harry you've gotten slow!" She yelled. I laughed.
I-what?
Laughed. Wow.
I ran back up to her and put my arm in hers. We walked off to a restaurant near by.

The bell rang when we walked in. I smelled basil, pie of some sort...
Amazing. Maybe getting out of the house is just what I needed.
I felt warm air radiating from the kitchen where we sat. A waitress came over to us.
"Lovely couple!" She smiled.
"Er-we're not-" Ginny blushed deep pink.
"What would you like?" She asked in a high-pitched voice.
"I think I'll have the creamed pesto," I said, staring at the foods I've never even heard of.
"Nice choice! The lady?"
"Same for me," she sighed.
"It'll be out soon," she smiled and ran off to the kitchen. I was sitting on an angle from Ginny, the light was shining on her hair, and I could now appreciate how beautiful she really was.
"Harry?" She laughed.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"You look, distracted," she smiled an awkward smile.
"Oh, it's nothing," I shot back.
"Good," she looked around the place.
We started talking about Quidditch and how she got a spot on the Holy Head Harpies, which is pretty awesome. She talked about how she struggled with depression for a bit, but when we came home,
She felt..better.
"That's brilliant," I had said.

The food finally came after long conversation I hadn't had in a long time. Ginny fed me some to see how it tasted, it was surprisingly good.
I fed her some and she loved it. Literally. We ate and talked for a while.
"So..." She kept talking. I realized then was leaning in, but then I realized,
So was she.
We crashed lips and she put her arms around my neck, pulling me in.
(THIS ISNT TURNING INTO A HINNY FANFIC I PROMISE...)
"Woah," I sighed.
"Told you Jimmy! You owe me Five Galleons," Our waitress's voice spoke from the corner.
I turned and have her a look, and she went silent.
"Ginny, I-" she looked pleased.
"We need to go," I grabbed her arm and slammed ten galleons on the table.

I can't believe I did that. Ginny ran into the house, not speaking another word to me.
I moaned and collapsed back onto the bed. Reminded of Hermione again, I sigh and feel my heart ache in affection for a dead person. It's hard enough, but imagine if she was married to me...Ugh.
I turned over and tore the sheets off my bed, and climbed into it, sulking for probably days and days on...

When I wake up, Ron's calling me to dinner. I don't go. I'm not planning on it. Hermione's voice rings in my head,
"I love you," and dead.
I make a noise of what sounds like a sob and a cough. I turn over and stare at the ceiling.
"I don't think I'm going to, but thanks," I moan.
"I'll go grab him, Mum," Ron's voice groans.
Footsteps, footsteps, and Ronnie's here.
"Come down, please," he pulls my arm, but I'm too stubborn.
"Okay, starve!" He growls and slams the door. I sigh and put my head back in my pillow where it belongs. I hear clanking of forks and spoons, and I'm not appealed whatsoever.
I'd rather stay up here and wallow in my misery. Plus, with Ginny and all, it was going to be really awkward. I've been well-groomed, Mrs. Weasley shaving me, Ron pushing me into the shower, George making me sit outside. They really believe in me.
I don't believe in myself, so without that, I'm never going to get better, but whatever.
I push myself out of bed for the first time in forever, and waltz outside telling the Weasleys I'd be back soon, which was a lie.

I repacked all of my good clothing for when I was going to leave here, and now I think is the right time to go. Guess where I'm going.
The Dursleys.
There, I can find out things that could save Hermione, and be with family. I almost gag, but I have to go, I just know it's the best choice, and I trust it.

I start when I head to the Ministry to grab their location. It seems they're still in London, and I'm headed to the place.
I'm not very sure how to pronounce it, so I'm not even going to try. I secure my pack on my back and poof up a map.
I found their location, and it seems not that far from the Ministry, I see why they did that. I search for hours when I realize, I'm in the town. Butterflies take over my stomach, having to see them again. I really feel disgusted having to crawl back to them, but I don't have a choice.
I find their street and address. I gulp, and feel tingly in my toes. this isn't possible,
Nervous to see the Dursleys?
I don't know.

I walk onto their doorstep, fix my hair, and knock. A lady comes up to the door, and opens it quietly. She looks young, renewed.
Aunt Petunia.
"Oh my..." I recognize her voice. "Oh, Harry-Harry..."
"What is it?" I hear my Uncle's voice from the kitchen.
"Yeah!" I hear Dudley's, surprisingly deep voice, come from the kitchen.
"Um-Um, family awaits, Vernon, Dudley, come say hello to Harry Potter.." She says and I step inside.

A/N: okay, I'm so sorry this was short, but the next chapter's going to be AMAZING...
Soooooo, did you guys like it? I sort of gasped at my own writing...
Ly, gotta go study BYEEEE

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