his weakness

29| admitted it.

"Last chance. We both know what you were trying to do. Do it again and I'll do what I said I would. Don't piss me off, Kenzie. You don't want to get on my bad side." He ends the call. I do not have a reaction, I can't. There's nothing I can do to stop this. I'm too fucking stupid for this, how am I suppose to tell Nolan.

"Who was that?" He pulls a shirt over his head, stepping closer to me.

"My mom. It was about my uncle, it's his birthday soon and she wants to have a surprise party for him but she's too scared I'll end up telling him." Most stupidest thing I have ever said. I don't even have a fucking uncle.

They're all dead. I think. Or I've just never met them. Or they don't exist.

"You didn't finish what you were saying before. Who tried hurting you?" He lifts my head, by placing his finger under my chin. I can't look at him while lying. I'm terrible at eye contact when I lie.

"No one tried hurting me. I'm fine. I was just.. you know. They blocked the road and stopped me, she didn't try anything though. She just wanted to apologise for nearly crashing into me." I don't know how much longer I'm going to have to lie but Kieran was right. I'd rather break Nolan's heart than have him killed.

"Do you want me to do anything about it? If you want, I can find out who it was. And you're okay right?" I wish he didn't care like this about me. I wish he just continued being an asshole like he was before.

"I'm okay. I'm just really tired. That's all." It is taking everything in me not to cry. I can't feel any tears but I want to cry.

"I won't here for a bit. I've got things to deal with but I'll be back before you wake up." He looks me in the eye like he's trying to figure something, and then walks into his closet to grab trousers. What's he actually doing? I thought he would give me silent treatment to make us not become closer but we're practically in a relationship right now.

I don't what we are but I can't hurt him. Not after everything he's done for me. I may not know about Nolan's past but I do know he would do anything to keep me safe.

How do I let him fall in love with me knowing I'm going to shatter his heart into pieces? I don't know what his feelings are but right now I really hope he doesn't like me the way I like him. I hope he views me as his friend. A friend with benefits. I don't care about how much it will hurt me if it's true, I just don't want to hurt him.

"I'm leaving. Goodnight." He walks out of the closet, this time with his usual sweatpants.

Maybe he treated all the girls he fucked like this. I'm not different from any of them. Kieran doesn't know what he's talking about. No one does. It's better if he doesn't fall in love me but the whole point of this is for him fall in love but I don't want to let that happen. But I will. To keep him safe, I'll do it.

I let him leave. I don't ask him why he's going out so late. I need some time alone anyway. And I'm so exhausted. I'm glad school is going to be over in less than a month, maybe I can just write Nolan a letter breaking his heart if it even works and then ghost everyone. I'd rather do that then see his reaction.

- - -

"Theo! Pass it here!" Chase shouts out from the other side of the pool, waving his hands in the air waiting for Theo to pass him the inflatable ball.