Gin

01

"G-I-N-G-E-R, Ginger!"

I pointed at the scribbles I wrote that spelled out my name. Ginger, what kind of name is that for someone who has dark brown hair. Everyone's always told me it was ironic that my name was ginger because I am in fact, not a ginger.

"Mommy look, I did it!" I pushed the paper across the table until it touched my mothers fingertips. I had my right little knee on the table as I struggled to push it towards her.

"Not now baby, Mommy's busy. Mommy needs her medicine." My mother shoo'd me away and I slid the paper back to my area. My mom tapped the inside of her arm right where her veins were and stuck a syringe right in the middle of her veins. She tilted her head back and took a deep breath as all of the toxins entered her blood stream. She closed her eyes making a raspy humming noise as she engulfed the high. I sat criss-cross applesauce on the chair across from her, scribbling at the paper she had gave me. I looked up at my mom just to see if she was still awake but she wasn't. She wasn't even moving.

"Mommy," I climbed up on the table crawling to my mother. I pushed her hair behind her face to see if her eyes were open. They were still closed. I placed my little fingers on her eyelid to pull them apart. As I looked into her eyes all I could see was white.

"Mommy, wake up." I nudged at her a little bit more. I grabbed her empty hand and shook it but still no response. I started to panic. I started to scream. Why isn't she waking up? She always wakes up after she takes her medicine.

I was only five.

* * * *

I loved my foster mom she did everything she could to make sure I was happy. All my family members back home were worried about me going into the system but none of them were eligible to take me in. Luckily I got a good foster mom, one that actually cares and isn't just there for the check. I knew this was my home when I first met her.

Her name is Meredith but I never call her by her first name. She practically raised me so I have no problem calling her mom. Meredith was a fairly tall white woman with long dark, almost black, hair. She kind of reminded me of one of those Beverly Hills housewives without all of the botox. She wasn't filthy rich but she did live comfortably and bought me whatever I wanted. Even though I had a few slip ups here and there she never gave up on me. I guess having a history of family drug abuse really does go down for generations.

"Good morning, and happy birthday." Meredith smiled at me and kissed my forehead as she set a plate of my favorite breakfast down on the table. French toast with one egg sunny-side up. I loved her cooking it was not too bland or over seasoned.

"Thanks Mom, I really appreciate it." I smiled as I took a sip of the water I had in front of me.

"Anything for you dear. Oh, I also picked up this headband I thought you might like it since you're letting your bangs grow out." Meredith pulled out a black headband, the ones you tie on. I placed the headband around my forehead and tied it as I pulled it back so it could move my bangs. I've been letting them grow out for a while they basically cover half of my face now. And it's no better that I have curly hair so my hair just flies all over the place. Sometimes I get insecure about my appearance so I tend to straighten my hair a lot or try to stay away from the sun so I can at least look like I'm supposed to be a part of this family. My biological mom was a blonde and my dad, well.. I don't know much about my dad except for the fact that he's black. From what I heard from family my mom wasn't the most saint when it came to her sex life.

"I've been needing a new one anyways I think I ripped the last one."

"No worries dear, you know I always have a back up." Meredith sat on the barstool as she drank her morning coffee. "So, any big plans today? It's your eighteenth birthday you have to do something exciting."