Addiction

Pretty Broken Girls

Do you ever feel like you've gone numb to all the things you used to love? For me, it was living life in the fast lane. Drugs, booze, being permanently fucked up. Pushing and pushing myself, long nights, running till my tanks on E and then pushing hard, drinking harder, snorting more lines till I can't anymore then I break down and hide in my sorrows for days only to do it all over again. It used to be enough for me but now it seems I've gone numb to even the simple pleasures. Sex is just a task that needs to be done, music isn't coming anymore and neither is money. Addiction is all that fuels me anymore, nothing gives me the motivation my addiction does. All I think about and focus on is when I'll get my next fix, my next high, it doesn't matter what kind of high whether it be, Adrenaline or nicotine, or booze, blow, weed, or heroin. I want any high I can get and I'll do anything to get it.

I've always been a junkie, just not in the way everyone thinks. It started when I was young, 8. I met a girl. A beautiful broken-hearted girl. My first addiction, Broken people. This girl was only 8 as well but her family friend had just passed away and she was broken-hearted. I helped her as well as hurt her myself and we continued this till we were much older. Not counting one or two hundred hook-ups there more than her.

You aren't a junkie because you've done something once you've done it over and over when you know it's bad for you. The next was Layla, beautiful venom, Layla. Her skin was made of silk but she had venom under her tongue that she spit at me driving me further and further into this hole and loop of destruction. These are the first of many webs, I've fallen into chasing my addiction.