𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗠𝗮𝗱𝗲

1. 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 (new start)

Callie's POV

The idea had been in my head for exactly two weeks. Okay, well sorta.

It was more like me debating for those two weeks on rather or not to do it. Every time I seemed to have built up enough courage, I would always find myself backing down last minute. I guess nothing super bad happened to me in that short span to really make me want to go through with my plan. However, the thought still sat heavy in my mind. It seemed to have weighed me down more than I had realized.

That became obvious to me when my mom Stef had asked me yesterday if I was doing okay. Right there and then (aka yesterday) it hit me that I was now on Stef's radar. And when you were on Stef's radar, that was never a good sign.

The way my mom had spoken at that very moment, her tone, and her body language was strange. Everything about the encounter felt off. This usually told me she knew something not so good was on my mind. And she was right. Only when I answered her, I didn't tell the truth. That even surprised me as I usually never lied to Stef.

My lie sounded stupid and I knew immediately that my mom didn't buy it. But what surprised me even more was how she let it go. She knew I lied yet she didn't point it out.

Looking back on it, this would feel like one of the biggest mistakes she had made.

My mom tended to ask me how I was doing quite often. It had kinda turned into our touch base with my feelings sort of thing. It was those mini check ins that never used to bother me as much as they did now.

Yesterday she had asked me the same question and the question that I was good at answering.

In the beginning she would let me off the hook when I would say one or two words. Maybe a whole sentence if she was lucky. One of Stef's favorite words was "Fine". If any one of us kids said just that, she would flat out interrogate us. Some might see it that way but we all knew Stef and that was just her way of showing love.

After a while of realizing I wasn't able to fool her, I actually started sharing a little bit of myself. It probably wasn't nearly as much as she wanted to hear from me, but I think she was thankful that I was using more than just one or two sentences. The interesting thing was when I shared my thoughts with her, it actually was legit. All of what I said was real. I wasn't just making these things up to get Stef off of my back. I truly was being open with her about my feelings when we talked.

I hated the idea at first and did everything in my power to not give in to her and her chats with me. But eventually I knew that it was only because she sincerely cared for me. At the end of the day, she loved me and would do everything in her power to make sure I was safe.

Around the fourth or fifth week of this routine, I began somewhat liking our chats. Or at least the idea of it. It felt really good spilling all of my confusing emotions to her. A physical heavy weight felt as if it had been lifted off of my shoulders. Plus I began putting more trust into Stef and letting my walls down as scary as it was.

In doing so, I learned new things about myself. I also came to the conclusion that Stef and I were so very similar when it came to how we functioned and dealt with things.

Stef checked in with all of us kids, but it felt like her and I had a different kind of bond. Not a bad different... just a different special kind of bond. After so many years of fighting alone with myself and never having anybody there for me, I allowed Stef into my life. Sure I let other people into my life, but I never let anybody get this close to me. I found it to be a way of protecting myself. If I didn't let people in, how could I possibly get hurt?