"wow. new york huh?" mom spoke up first bur my eyes were glancing over at dad trying to figure out what he thought of the idea, but nothing. we just went back to eating his food as if i never said anything. "yeah" i said looking at elsa, "we figured like we had a really rough year and we thought why not have a trip. just me and her" i continued mainly saying the last part a bit louder so dad could hear it clearly. just me and her.
"how will you afford it" he finally spoke up not even looking at me, just looking at his food avoiding eye contact. he acts as if i murdered someone. "well thats why im telling you guys, i was hoping that you guys would lend me some money for the trip, and i promise ill pay you guys back" i said and dad finally looked up at me "oh honey you dont need to pay us back, ofc we'll give you the money. you deserve it" mom said putting her hand on top of mine with a smile across her face. "no."
dad got up from the table with his plate and place it into the sink, i looked at him and rolled my eyes, here we go again. "no, im not allowing this" he said and elsa looked at him "doug seriously?" she said, he turned around and rested his hand on the counter staring at us, mainly me.
i knew he would do this, yes i joke about elsa being the worst but throughout this year ive realized how much mom truly did everything in her power to make us happy and have the best childhood, and dad never did anything. he's just there. "what is it now, you dont want me to go because im going to be alone with izzie" i said staring straight into his eyes. i could feel him getting angrier by the second, hes going to blow up on me any second now. i know it.
"stop this! we can all stop pretending like this is normal!" he screamed smacking his hand down on the counter hard making at thud sound that made me jump a little, "i mean look at you casey, you dont even look like a girl anymore! you act and sit and talk as if you are a fucking guy!! so yeah im not ok with sending my daughter to another state with a fucked up dyke!" he continued still screaming, i was on the verge of crying but i knew i shouldnt, that was the most fucked up thing ive ever heard him say.
"DOUG!" elsa screamed getting up from her seat and looks at him as he sighed and stood up straight. i held her hand and got up reassuring her that im fine. "you know i knew this day would come, i knew all the "i dont care if you date a girl or a boy" wasnt true, but im not about to let you insult my girlfriend or my fucking appearance!" i said in a loud voice while he was just sitting there silently "but you know what more fucked up, when you see all those lesbian couples walking down the streets or in movies or shows your are completely fine with it, but when it comes to your daughter liking girls you. fucking. hate it. why? because you cant sexualize it?!" "casey stop it now!" he said getting really mad but i didnt care.
"you fucking disgust me, and im going to new york, and im going to fucking love every moment im there with my girlfriend." i finished before running up to my room and slamming the door behind me. i started taking deep breaths in and out now just realizing what i said to my own dad. fuck. fuck. fuck.
i locked the door and sat on my bed curling up into a ball, while hearing faint screams from downstairs between my mom and dad. mainly elsa. i could tell that mom was really mad at what doug had said to me, she didn't expect it from her own husband. i didnt know how i was going to face him ever again.
the front door slammed shut after an hour of them fighting, im guessing he left for work. i still couldnt comprehend what just happened, it felt like everything just happened within seconds, it was all to much. the door knob turned once, then twice. "honey." mom spoke on the other side of the door and knocked lightly "open the door" she said and tried opening the door once again.
after a couple of minutes i got up slowly and unlocked the door and she walked in, i turned around and walked back to my bed immediately. "listen, ill give you the money for your trip" she said sitting on the edge of the bed. "you go have fun and ill deal with dad, take your mind of things ok" she said placing her hand on top of mine again holding it tight, i felt a tear fall down as i look at her. "why is he like this..?" i asked mom and all she did was shrug, she was confused herself.
i hate crying especially in front of people, but this time i couldnt hold myself together anymore. "i couldnt stop myself from talking mom..i felt like i wasnt the one talking, i swear i didnt mean to say all those things but i-" she cut me off "listen to me, i know its not ok to talk to your father like that, but what he said was not ok. im proud of you for standing up for yourself and izzie"
i nod lightly before taking in a deep shaky breath, she rubbed her thumb on the back of my hand trying to calm me down. "how about you pack some clothes and go stay at your brothers place, zahid isnt in town so you can stay there" she said "and you and izzie can go to new york while i talk things out with your dad" she continued and i nod getting up. i walk over to my closet grab a bag and start putting in some clothes, and stuff i use on a daily basis. mom helped me out a little, "honey i promise everything will be just fine" she said after i finished and zipped up my bag. i looked at her and pulled her in for a tight hug, its rare that id hug her but i always loved every second of it when i do.
"i love you mom" i slightly whispered with my eyes shut. "i love you too sweetie" she replied with a weak smile as i back away from the hug and grab my bag, i went over and grabbed my charger putting it in the pocket of my hoodie then took my phone, and texted sam that im coming over.
"ill send you the money by tonight ok" she said and i looked at her and gave her a weak smile "thanks mom" she nodded.
i got into my car and started heading towards sam's apartment.
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