solemnly • sirius black

6.

"Too fucking long," she paused to take a drag of the dying cigarette. "Might as well call me James Potter, because I have been hopelessly chasing someone bloody untouchable since first year."

"I don't know whether I'm supposed to be offended by you or feel sorry for you," he huffed. Giving her a flat look for her reference to Lily. She ignored him and ran a hand through her tangled hair.

"I won't tell anyone, but if he makes you cry again I'll break his nose."

The startled laugh Cordelia let out brought a grin to James's face. Before long, they were in stitches together. Maybe he was right and it would be okay.

-

"Oi, Cordelia! Where the heck did you go? You could've told me you were skipping astronomy," Sirius grunted moodily when he burst into his dorm room to see her sitting across from James in bed, a game of exploding snap going on between them.

"Didn't think you'd care," she hummed. James watched her face carefully, but she didn't even look up from the game.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You looked like you were in good hands with that Hufflepuff. She looked quite easy, so I'm sure she was perfect for you," Cordelia said in monotone.

"Why are you being such a bitch?" Sirius ground out angrily. Cordelia finally looked up from the stupid game and clenched her jaw.

"Did you just call me a bitch?" Cordelia whispered dangerously.

"Yeah. You know what, I did. You're acting like a Grade O bitch," he spat. Cordelia jumped to stand in front of him, and James scrambled to get between the two loose cannons.

"Guys, stop it," James pleaded.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Cordelia clenched her fists so tightly that her fingernails dug into her palms.

"This is my room! Why don't you fuck off?" The volume was rising steadily. It was enough for Remus to sleepily raise his head. Cordelia could faintly make out Peter rubbing his eyes from his bed.

"Cut it out, you two," Remus croaked.

"You're kicking me out? Fine." Cordelia snatched her bag from the floor and sneered. "Don't come crying to me when this one ends up being a nutter like the last two."

"Takes one to know one, eh?"

Cordelia slammed her shoulder into his on her way out the door, which she slammed loudly. The sound of a pin dropping could've been heard in the thick silence that followed.

"Really, Padfoot?" James sighed.

-

The feud lasted a week. Neither party spoke to the other, and the Marauders didn't see the two in the same room for more than a moment. It didn't help matters that Cordelia walked up on a snog session in the hall between Sirius and a girl she didn't even recognize.

Lily took ahold of her elbow tightly, while Alice and Marlene edged closer. It was easy for Cordelia to see that they were anticipating a fight. They expected Cordelia to be enraged. Instead, she cleared her throat and squared her shoulders.

"If you're quite finished..." she sneered. Sirius turns and frowns at the sight of her, but the distraction was enough to allow the four girls to slip into the portrait that was previously blocked.

The second the door closed behind them, they heard the sniffles. Cordelia's face was twisted in pain. Marlene wrapped an arm around her and led her to sit on her bed.

"Why doesn't he ever go for me?" The sadness in her words was so thick that Marlene's own eyes turned misty.

"Don't do this, Delia. Don't put yourself through that," Marlene scolded lightly.

"They don't even have to try, and he just picks them. What's so wrong with me that the one guy I want won't even give me the time of day?"

"There is nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me, Cordelia?" Lily hissed sharply. She squatted down to be at eye level with the heartbroken girl.

"Sirius is an idiot, and he doesn't deserve the way you feel about him. This power you let him have over you is killing you. It's time to let him go," Lily demanded. Cordelia felt the blood drain from her face, and her friends watched in concern. They'd been thinking it for a long time, but no one was brave enough to say it aloud.

"Let him go?" Cordelia repeated hollowly.

"You've got us, Delia. You're always gonna have us in your corner. You don't need Sirius Black," Alice insisted gently.

Six years of heartbreak weighed on her mind, and she nodded numbly to her friends. Cordelia decided to let him go.

At breakfast the next day, Cordelia sat next to Sirius like she had always done before their fight and pretended it never happened.

She didn't need Sirius Black, she told herself determinedly.