random thoughts >> mine

thought 1 - friends

friends:
(according to urban dictionary) people who are aware of how retarded you are and still manage to be seen in public with you. people who make you laugh till you pee your pants. people who cry for you when one of your special items disappear. when you dont have enough money to get a ice cream, they chip in. knows all of your internet passwords. who would never make you cry just to be mean.

friends:
(my definition) people who are only there for you when it's major and don't care for your little problems. people who put you aside and wait until they have problems to talk to you. people who will laugh with you in public but punch you in the stomach for no reason. people who you laugh and mess around with. people you easily get annoyed with. people you wanna forget but can't.

friends are such a confusing thing to me. I feel like I am not meant to have friends because I feel like I don't belong here in this world. the world around me is giant and there's millions of people here in this world and I am just a little person, walking around everyday, waiting for something to happen to me.

this started as a topic about friends and I am already going towards talking about myself.

I feel like I'm not important, even to my friends. even to the people who say they care for me but don't care for anything I have to say.

it's hard knowing you have to be there for someone but also knowing they won't be there for you.

it's hard to know who to trust.

who to love.

who to bother.

who to cry to

having friends is hard

but having none at all is even harder