Broken Souls

To knew beginnings

⚠️TW⚠️
❗️Mentions❗️Domestic violence and addiction.

"Why did you leave me " you whine as you sit down on your white kitchen counter.
You were on the phone with your best friend Anabella who you called Ana.

"You knew that I wanted to move, after high school so don't act like this is a surprise" she stated.

"Oh come on, come live with me this place is huge and I'm lonely"

you say placing your elbows on the cold counter top.

You then reach your hand to a bowel of fruits,where you got a viridescent color apple.

The juice from the apple left your lips, while you took a bite. The juice drips to your thigh leaving a wet stain, on your light blue denim jeans. You quickly wiped your mouth as your friend remained talking.

" I would love to daring but, I needed to get away from the buildings, the noise, the lights and the people in general." She carried on and says,

"You should come visit, it's very peaceful."

Although maybe the country life was for her you knew it wasn't for you. Though maybe once in a while if you needed a break you could go. Maybe you would find some sort of confort there. But deep down you know that it will never be enough, no matter where you go you'll bring chaos with you. So why go and ruin it like you always do.

You thought to yourself and noticed you zoned out

" yea, yea whatever you replaced me with horses and cows"

you joked hoping she didn't noticed you were spacing out. She hated when you did, but you couldn't help it. You were always so easily distracted by little things whether it was an object making nose or a little animal passing by.

Your thoughts alone consumed you all the time, so it was hard for you to keep up when she talks. You always felt so guilty when she had to repeat herself.

You could tell she hesitated to answered, probably debating on calling you out or letting it slide. Although normally she would call you out and scold you for spacing out.

She would never called you out to make you feel bad, but to help you be more self aware. But instead she brought up junior year and brushed it off even though it bothered her.

"oh come on don't act like you didn't want to live alone, all you talked about Junior year was how you wanted your own place" she chuckled

That wasn't a lie you wanted to move out or more so, you needed to move out.

All that place left was broken memories and utter sadness, that consumed you anytime you thought about it. It left scars physically and emotionally. You could still hear the screams that echoed slightly in your ear. You could feel the fear and the pain when you saw your stepdad never knowing whether he was going to hit you again or worst. You never liked to think about him,just hearing his named mention made you want to throw up in disgust. You were angry with yourself and disgusted that you never did anything back. The only words that echoed in your brain was "if only I did this" "then maybe things would have been different." But that never matter because in the end you were just a small fragile little girl who couldn't protect herself.

"Yea I know but, I'm all by myself and I'm going to college without my best friend" you finally say

you were really dreading going to school tomorrow. Having to go to school was already dreading and it always took a toil on your mental health.

But now you didn't have your friend who helped you when you would struggled , or pass you her notes when you couldn't bring yourself to leave your bed.