Husband

Ch 15: Home (LONG CHAPTER)

You fought back the urge to sleep. At the moment, all you can move is your eyes. So you fully utilized it to adjust to the darkness, until you can see clearly.

You can't even gather the strength to let out a scream of frustration. You're back where you started, Husband's bedroom. Square one, all progress, lost.

Clink...!

Looks like he added some extra precautions too. You frowned, feeling the familiar cold pinch of metal around your ankle. The sound of it gently hitting against the bed frame confirms that your leg has been chained down.

You stare at Husband's slumbering form next to you. He's sleeping on his side, facing towards you. His chest gently rises and sinks as he took calm breaths.

There were small cuts and bandages on his handsome face.

There was also a gap between the two of you. He gave you space and didn't cuddle you in his sleep like usual, but a large, warm hand rested on your arm. There wasn't any pressure, it's more like he placed it there to detect small movements from you.

That familiar comforter is loosely draped across Husband's and your body. It's not comforting at all, you oddly felt... itchy. Not exactly the type of itch that resembles a common rash or mosquito bite, but a certain itch that made you wish you can just rip your skin off and scrub it clean.

You felt filthy despite being bathed thoroughly by Husband earlier (while you were unconscious, of course). You felt tatty even though you're in your once-cozy pyjamas. Not a speck of dirt or grime on you, but yet you felt awfully nasty. You hate that the cretin of a man laying next to you is touching your once beautiful skin, now covered in scrapes and bruises from your reckless adventure.

You felt like a whore, a prude, an adult, a child, a stupid girl and a clever woman all at the same time. It was a challenge to waddle through this foul concoction of conflicting thoughts and emotions without letting a few stray drops of tears escape your eyes.

You thought the 'past' you was brainless, letting herself roll over for Husband just like that. All the abuse, the insults...

Simultaneously, it hurts to blame 'her'. Because 'she' was you. But, you can't understand what were 'you' thinking back then, that is what made you so angry, so upset. All of this, could have been avoided if 'you' weren't that greedy for positive relationships. 'You' already had a network of friends, you didn't need Husband. But yet, you still 'pursued' him despite all.

You're the same (y/n) who went through whatever the Medic told you, however, it felt like you were berating a completely different person whenever you internally scolded yourself.

...No, it wasn't anyone's fault except Husband's. You are the victim, he is the perpetrator.

You blinked away the tears and gritted your teeth. Your other arm that isn't in contact with Husband's hand clenched in fury.

Indeed, why are you to blame? You were young and still immature even though you're legally an adult, it was Husband's fault for plunging you deep into his cesspool of obsession. He was a full blown adult, he should distinguish between right and wrong. He robbed you of your freedom, your friends, your sanity and your autonomy. And... he even managed to instill a negging thought that you are the only one to blame.