Hellfire | Hayley Marshall

Chapter 6

Eisa winked, handing him a glass, and pouring the wine for him. "Give yourself more credit, darling, you're pretty good even if you're young."

"Am I really good?" he asked, sitting up. "You didn't..."

She shook her head. "Have a lot on my mind, honestly. I suppose I didn't enjoy it as much as I did last time."

He patted her arm, offering her the wine instead. "You look stressed. What's up?"

She sighed, and sat up on the bed, deciding to spill. "I'm starting to have feelings for someone that I'm not supposed to have feelings for."

Jay imitated her, getting ready to listen. "Oh? Who is this mystery person?"

Eisa bit her lip, playing the part of over-sharer, just to keep him there, thinking he was the one acquiring information. "The reason I'm in New Orleans is because my brother Niklaus knocked up this werewolf girl. Here, we'll call her 'H.' She's... she's beautiful. She's strong, and stubborn... which is a bit annoying, but also admirable... and she's been kind to me even when I've acted so brusque."

Jay leaned in, pupils dilated, demonstrating his interest. Of course he was interested, this was the first time he was hearing about this. "No wonder you didn't finish, you like someone else. A girl, at that. I thought—"

Eisa laughed dryly. "You thought I was straight? No. I'm pansexual homoromantic. I can have sex with anyone, but romantically... I've only ever been attracted to those who identify as female. I'm surprised you didn't know. There are homophobic vampires everywhere, and they all love to be homophobic towards me. That's why I even started my hit list."

"So, don't take this the wrong way, but how did you know? Like, how long have you been out of the closet?"

Eisa rolled her eyes. "Next time, don't ask that so openly. Some queer people haven't a problem answering, but I personally despise such direct questions. I'd rather be the one to decide when I wish to tell someone those things. Those of us who have been through a lot are... less prone to enjoy being quizzed on our homosexuality the instant we're out to a new person."

Jay looked at her apologetically, and she got to talking. She needed to rant. "Some part of me has always known. I always felt more drawn to the girls I grew up with. There was a woman, the first Petrova doppelgänger. Her name was Tatia. She was my friend, and I... I had the biggest crush on her, and didn't realize it until it was too late. I never understood why I felt the things I did. I never understood why I was jealous, seeing my brothers with her. I just knew that I didn't feel like I could like any of the men in the village. My father wished for me to marry, and I really did try to find someone I fancied. None of the males caught my eye.

"When my brother killed our mother, we fled. We lived in the de Martel castle for a bit. The Count's son, Tristan, tried to court me. I felt nothing for him. Instead, I was crushing on his sister, Aurora, who was with my brother, Niklaus. It wasn't until I got to speaking to people in Tuscany that I realized what it was. I was attracted to females. Elijah and I traveled after that, and I started to experiment. I slept with some men, enjoyed it. Tried to forge a relationship, couldn't. I slept with some women, enjoyed it more. Tried to forge a relationship, and could. My first girlfriend, my first love, was a woman named Aya. She was my first sireling, too. I wanted to be with her forever. She had been the one to lift me up, when I was at my lowest.

"Before I met Aya, I'd been with a woman... She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, let's call her. I despise her. She's been dead for centuries. I made sure of it, after what she did to me. She and I had been getting to know one another, and she'd been the first woman I ever slept with. I thought she liked me, and I wished for us to become more serious. Then, one night, I was ambushed in my bed. The woman had been caught kissing me, earlier in the day, and she lied to her family and the other men who lived in her village— some of whom were vampires— that I had been the one to seduce her. That I was forcing her to do it."