Dirty Little Game ♠ Professor Lupin

Twenty two: Bad Habits

However, I didn't let it prevent me from participating in the party for the winning team. We didn't win the Quidditch Cup, but we never miss any chances of a little celebration.

Have you also had a thing you never thought you needed until you got it? That was my thing. Loud music, lots of people, dancing, illegally smuggled alcohol. Unplugging yourself from ordinary life for a moment. All I had to do was to turn a small switch in me and I became the life and soul of the party and the tigress of this jungle.

Have I crossed the line? Maybe a little. I admit I went all the way. I asked Wilton to pour booze into my glass every time he poured it into his and the boy was drinking at a rate I wasn't used to. I decided it was a good time to stop when I started to feel half the weight I really was.

I quickly became bored on the couches among people whom I didn't care for in the slightest. I saw Brook and Jaylee nearby, sitting at the tables across from us with the girls from our dormitory. Normally, the four of us would spend this time together. I doubted I longed for this. I didn't need them. In fact, I didn't need anyone but myself.

"Come dance with me." I said loudly to Wilton, my voice breaking through the music.

He turned to me with an annoyed frown. It looked funny with his face flushed from alcohol. "You know I don't dance."

"You're a bore." I simply stated, getting up and going to the dance floor alone.

There weren't a lot of people there. Most of Slytherins took a different party tactic than I did - first they danced and when they got tired they found a place somewhere and then started drinking. I did exactly the opposite, fifty proof in my veins allowing me to make bolder, eye-catching movements.

I mingled with the group of dancing people, while standing out completely from them. I seemed to belong there but as the brightest feature, I drew the attention of all who looked in that direction.

At one point, I noticed that someone was staring at me for much longer period of time than the others. I immediately recognised this boy as Connor. He and his friends were sitting on the stairs near the fireplace. The boy next to him was speaking but he didn't seem to hear him and kept his gaze fixed on me. I caught his eye.

To be more visible, I moved to the outside of the crowd. I hadn't done it in a pretty long time and I'd forgotten how it feels when someone looks at you with lust and isn't shy about it.

Finally he got up and, without breaking our eye contact, walked over to me. I turned my back to him and bent against him, gradually rubbing against his body as I lowered to the ground. As I stood up, he pulled my hair to the side and almost placed his head on my shoulder, saying in my ear:

"Would you mind if I took you out of here?" Not in the least. At that moment, he could even take me to the Shrieking Shack and I wouldn't object. I shook my head knowing that I was starting to smile lewdly. "C'mon."

He grabbed my hand and took me away from the dance floor, into the hallway that lead to the boys' dormitories. I pretended not to notice his buddies' glances and raised voices at the sight of us. We've definitely piqued the interest of more than just them.

I'm not sure what I was imagining but I definitely wasn't expecting the boy to pin me to the door right after we closed it behind us. He pushed his hands to my neck as he pressed me against the hardwood. His lips crushed into mine, insistent and fierce.

It wasn't a soft caress; it was something much harsher and stronger, and he gave it his all, as if there was no tomorrow. I liked it. He knew what he wanted and he was taking it without a second thought. Not like me.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I shouldn't be doing what I was doing right now. I only wanted to forget about my miserable life and be in control of it, if only for a moment. Why not with this boy? I've always done that. Connor was good looking, he wanted what I wanted, and he didn't ask needless questions. Okay, he kissed a little clumsily, but his enthusiasm made up for it.

His hands began to wander over my body and even though I was wearing a tight dress, his touch felt cold. I grabbed his hair and pulled him closer, trying to get rid of that feeling, but it was still there.

I knew what it was about but I didn't want to admit it.

His right hand slipped under my dress and boldly touched the fabric of my panties, slipping a finger behind them. I was starting to feel sick.

"Connor." I muttered before he could take my underwear off. He didn't pull back, but he stopped, waiting for what I had to say to him. And I had no idea what to say. "I can't... I can't do this."

"What?" He sounded genuinely surprised. He moved just a few inches away, enough to be able to look at me. "Don't give me that I-don't-know-what-I-want crap."

I felt like an idiot. I wanted it, and if so, why was I just telling him I wouldn't do it? "It's not like that, I- I'm sorry."

"You should-" He started, but I cut him off by breaking away from him and rushing to the only other door in that room, hoping it would be a bathroom.

I grabbed the toilet seat and all the alcohol I had consumed earlier retaliated. I thought I felt sick from what I was doing with Connor but apparently my subconscious didn't have that much of an effect on my body.

Once everything was out of my mind, I flushed it and went over to the sink. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the boy standing in the doorway, staring at me. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything about it, dragging this moment forever. I turned on the tap and dipped my hands in the cold water, then splashed it in my face.

"Okay, that explains a lot." He said, breaking the silence between us. "You okay?"

I rinsed my mouth with water before nodding. "I just, you know, took it too far."

He laughed under his breath. "Yeah, I saw that. Wait- You mean the alcohol, not me, right?"

It seemed to me that there was no room in him to be insecure. It drew me to him. But apparently everyone has their own weaknesses.

"I totally meant the alcohol." I assured him. I was pretty sure it was a lie.