The Bird's Fall

Chapter Thirty Two

"Reedsky, Snowheart, Roseleap, and Orangefeather, you can go and patrol the ShadowClan border," meowed Sparrowheart.

"Oh, please, can't I go too?" volunteered Sundawn eagerly.

Sparrowheart eyed his sister suspiciously. "No."

"Sparrowheart!" pleaded Sundawn, biting her lip.

"Why are you so eager?"

"I want to help my Clan, of course!" recited the golden she-cat.

"Let her go. She can fill my place. It's pleasing to see such an enthusiastic warrior. I'm not very comfortable with younger cats, anyway," Snowheart called.

Sparrowheart frowned, but dipped his head. "Very well. You can go, Sundawn."

The long-furred golden she-cat brightened almost immediately. Her dark amber eyes shone like her fluffy fur in the sunlight. "Thanks, Sparrowheart and Snowheart!" she exclaimed, and skipped towards where Reedsky, Roseleap, and Orangefeather were gathered. "The ShadowClan border, you say? Let's go."

Giving a huge purr, Sundawn took the lead.

"She's strange today," mewed Roseleap softly. "Come on, Snowypaw! We're going on patrol!"

A snowy-white she-cat peeked out of the apprentices' den. Her pale green eyes red and puffy, she lowered her head and padded to her mentor.

"Is she all right?"

"She's fine when she's learning, but suddenly she droops and is gloomy for the rest of the day. I think Snowypaw's ashamed that she's happy."

"It's been a week, though."

"Oh, Reedsky." And then Roseleap stared at Reedsky with a look that had a mentor's scolding inside them. Mentoring Snowypaw changed Roseleap.

"I'm here. Where are we going?" Snowypaw rasped.

"Patrolling the ShadowClan border."

Snowypaw nodded slightly, and when Roseleap began forward, she began to follow lifelessly.

Reedsky was worried about Snowypaw. What if she never recovered?

He was forced to stop his worries when Snowypaw spoke to him in a low, grief-stricken voice. "I'm happy. I'm happy I'm an apprentice. I'm happy Roseleap's my mentor. I'm happy. Is that wrong? It seems so wrong, when Eagleshade's dead and can't enjoy life anymore."

It took some time before Reedsky realized she was talking to him. "Oh... Well, Snowypaw, you know I knew him when your father was an apprentice? I was a kit then, but I knew he was adventurous and happy, just like you now. He's lived a life. I know it wasn't full, but still, he did. Don't sacrifice your life out there because of guilt that you're living but he's not. It's your turn to live your life."

Snowypaw hesitated. "But it feels so wrong. I want to grieve for him. But... they move on so easily. It's hard to linger," she mewed quietly. "The Clan's acting like nothing happened. Sparrowheart's filling his place, Silverstar's better now, and everyone's okay. They act just like before my father's death."

"Maybe you should try that, too," suggested Reedsky.

Snowypaw scowled. "It's not as simple as that," she insisted. "He's my father. I... You wouldn't know. But he was my father."

Reedsky flinched.

"He was my father. I loved him. He was there for me."

How could you say that, Snowypaw? I'm here for you now.

"How could he die? How could he leave me?" Snowypaw's voice broke. "Splashypaw seems fine, too. I just..."

Hearing Snowypaw talk like that, Reedsky knew he couldn't stay cross. "I would know. I understand. I can imagine how you feel right now. I know how you felt." Reedsky hoped Snowypaw didn't notice how much he tried to justify Tawnyclaw and his relationship.