Every day experiences

17/07/21

"I wanna be friends"
"Just friends"

This was the message I got yesterday.
We had an argument earlier, that's not new for us, whe have a lot of those but usually at the end we clear things and apologize.

This was different.
I had a sub earlier, but she and I were just a D/s thing, with little, I wanted us to be in a relationship too.
Little wanted us to be more of a master/ slave thing but I want us to be Ddlg.

She thought I wouldn't be able to discipline her cause of my weakness for her. I will admit, when she gets all pleady and cute I feel a tingling throughout my body, wanting to have her, consume her, I feel not like kissing but , I know it doesn't make much sense, wanting to just be one with her.

I can discipline her tho, it will take more efforts, but sure I can.

When she broke up, it shook me, I just didn't even consider that to be a possibility tbh. I was working in my shop at the time, you should have seen me, hands trembling, body sweating.

I didn't wanna believe it was happening. That she could just leave me at any point.

Being me I told her we can work things and asked for another chance. She agreed but after some more play she just said

"Aadi why are you doing this?"
"It's not gonna work"

At that point, I started accepting it, maybe she and I were never meant to be.
I agreed to staying friends and all, but I know that's just what you say, you can't be friends after this.

She had given up hope for us, and made it clear that she will move on.
I said goodbye and mentally prepared myself for the hurt to come.