LATIBULE | Tom Holland

chapter eight

TOMS POV:

i carry her gently in my arms, holding her close to my chest, but not too hard, for fear of hurting her. as if i could break her easily. again. i don't know what happened, all i know is that her watery eyes sent incredible pain through my body.

i never want to see her like this again. and it hurts even more to know that i put her in the same pain a few days ago.

her head lies close to my neck and i can feel her warm breath against my chest.

i don't know how i could have been so stupid as to almost lose this wonderful creature. i was too sure that she would stay no matter what. i was naive. gullible. too good because i didn't want to hurt any of the other girls, but in the process hurt the most important person in my life.

the person i never want to lose. never wanted to lose. but it's probably too late.

a tear rolls down my cheek in response to the thoughts running through my head of what my life will probably be like without her.

of course, this isn't the first girl in a lifetime, i've gotten over others over the years. but Yn would leave such a big gap in my life that neither alcohol, friends, nor any other girl could fill.

she is different. i knew it from the beginning. from the moment she almost fell out of the car. when her cheeks turned red because she felt humiliated.

from the moment our hands touched for the first time and she was in my arms for the first time. i know it's maybe too early to think about it, but with this girl i see my future. a family, children. a happy, balanced life.

but i have lost her. haven't i?

while the thoughts make my head hurt, i barely notice how we already reach the tents.

"Tom?" comes the softest and quietest voice i have ever heard. hers.

"yes?" i reply as i sniffle and try to wipe my tears on my other shoulder.

"i love you."

my heart stops. she loves me. still. after everything. i don't deserve her.

i lower her legs and steady her with my hands on her hips. she falls forward a little, still unsteady on her feet. but i catch her, as i always would.

and will.

"i'm sorry i've been such an asshole. i don't deserve you, i don't know what's gotten into me." my voice breaks and a few tears roll down my cheeks. "hurting you is the last thing i wanted Yn. and losing you-" she interrupts me as she puts her finger on my lips to shush me.

she moves her delicate, thin fingers to my cheeks and wipes away my tears.

"you haven't lost me Tom."

i can't stop it, but i start grinning like a madman. her words buzz in my head. she has forgiven me.

"you'll never lose me. i can't live without you." her soft voice speaks as she continues to stroke my cheeks. "i can't see you with other girls, that's true. but i can see you crying even less. because of me, how you suffer."

"i can't either." i say as i exhale and pull her closer to me. i feel her breath on my lips and her smile sends goosebumps all over my body.

our lips are only a few inches apart and our eyes locked.

i can't help it and pull her a little closer to me so that the gap between our lips finally closes. she waits for a moment, shocked by the abrupt event, but it doesn't take long before she falls into the kiss.