Timer

Prelude

The last day of September, my sixteenth birthday had happened this month, people where always so excited to have their sixteenth and celebrate getting their clock started on their wrist, I wasn’t excited about it, I wanted someone to love me for who I was and not just because they were my soul mate. I didn’t believe in silly things as soul mates, what happens if you met someone before your clock counted down and fell in love, what happens if they weren’t meant to be your soul mate but you knew they were.

My best friend Sage was lucky in that respect, she had met her soul mate early and when the timer got implanted it confirmed it for her, Alec had stepped towards her and they both watched as the timer ticked down the final seconds and finally started counting up. A love like theirs was a once in a lifetime thing and the entire community had been shocked when they had become soul mates. It was something everyone expected but couldn’t accept until it was confirmed.

My mother believed in soul mates, her clock had stopped when my father passed away and no one was ever going to be able to make it start ticking again. Her numbers always reminded her of the life she lived with my father and she could count the twenty-two years on her wrist as the best time of her life. She made me want a soul mate but I wanted to be able to choose who I fall in love with and not have it dictated to me. What if my soul mate was horrible and we could never get along? I was so easily angered and it took someone with a strong personality to put up with my shit.

“Tain,” my mother whispered and I looked up to face her in the mirror. She was styling my long brown hair into a braid that wrapped around the top of my head making it look like a crown. I had never seen my hair in this fashion, it was either down or in a bun, I couldn’t wear it fancy when I was playing soccer but I definitely had to get my mother to teach me how to do this style. “You need to stop worrying so much.” My wide green eyes grew larger and I looked like a startled owl in the mirror; I was the prey and this day was the hunter. “You’ll be fine. It’s just a small jab.”

“I know but I don’t understand the need for all of this,” I gestured to my hair and the dress I was wearing. I owned one dress, a white flowery number that finished just above my knees, it was pretty but I never felt comfortable in dresses, I wasn’t a girly girl and I preferred wearing shorts, a singlet and my plaid, whoever my soul mate was he better get used to it pretty fast because I wasn’t dressing up just to impress him. “Why can’t I just be me instead of playing dress up?”

“You’ve got to make a good impression. What if he’s from here and sees you on television?” My mother said and pined the last bit of my hair in place. I hated disappointing my mother because she was upset when it came to light my brother and his soul mate were gay; she wanted her kids to have the life and marriage that she had. She wanted grandkids and happiness back into her life; I hated that it turned to me because she wouldn’t accept David’s adopted kids as hers because they weren’t blood related.

“Mum, it’s time to go,” Madison shouted and I met my mother’s eyes in the mirror. She looked anxious and I wished I could help her but I was just as scared, I didn’t want a quick count down, I wanted it to last for a few years, I wanted to be able to prepare for the time that was going to tick by, I remember watching the ceremony on TV once and a girl got her timer and it had forty seconds left, the boy behind her was her soul mate and I could see how crushed she looked. The tears streamed down her face as she was taken away from her family to perform some secret ritual between soul mates; I never wanted to find my soul mate.

I had this morbid sense that I wanted my timer to stop because my soul mate would have died; I never wanted the pressure to get to me but then I would live with the pain of not having my other half. My soul would forever be ripped in half and this other person would possess it no matter how far away he was. I looked up into my mother’s sad eyes and she smiled at me softly in the mirror; I really was lucky to have her and I wished I could take the pain away from her. I looked down at her timer and read the numbers for the millionth time 22 years 250 days 12 hours and 43 seconds.