SECTUMSEMPRA ꩜ harry potter.

Tell me that you love me (James Potter) pt. 2

The two of you didn't talk, not one word. You just stared at each other, taking in each other's presence. You became so aware of how you must've looked— pajama pants that went past the tip of your toes, a large hoodie that you were half-sure belonged to James once, and your hair in disarray from spending the entire day and afternoon in bed. Subconsciously, you hid behind your door, trying to hide yourself from the boy who watched your every move.

The silence was deafening. It was awkward and uncomfortable. It was like neither of you knew each other anymore, like you didn't spend years being friends or months being wrapped up in each other's arms in the most vulnerable way. You stared at James Potter, not recognizing the man who stood in front of you.

This man was unsure of himself, not carrying himself in the confident way that James usually does. His back was hunched over like he was trying to make himself as small as possible. He looked small. He had this guard up in front of him and a face that you couldn't read. This was unusual for the both of you. You weren't used to not knowing James.

You forced yourself to be okay with that thought as you stared him down, knowing that you had no choice but to accept that you two will be strangers to each other one day. Soon, even. But truth be told, you didn't like it. You didn't like not knowing him.

You gulped, starting to close the door, little by little, in hopes he wouldn't notice. At first, he didn't. He was too preoccupied staring at your figure, your face, your being, that he didn't realize that the door was shutting. When James finally did, he stuck his foot in the crack, right before you could close it. He hissed at the pain, but kept his foot there, not daring to move.

"I miss you," he finally said, breathing out every word, "And I-I won't lie to you, I don't know if there's a word for what I'm feeling. I'm not even sure I fully understand it."

James pushed the door open, letting himself walk in despite your silent protests. You walked backwards, stopping right before the back of your knees hit your bedpost. He continued to talk, looking down at his feet, distraught, "All I know is now I can't stop thinking about you and I can't stop worrying about whether you're alright or not. And I think I'm going crazy, Y/N/N."

"James.."

"No, let me finish," he shook his head, looking into your eyes. His eyes were clouded by tears making your breath get caught in your throat. He paced back and forth in your dormitory, "I haven't slept in weeks because every time I close my eyes I just see you and I don't know what it means! I'm so confused and I just— nothing makes sense anymore. I keep looking for you everywhere I go and I expect you to be there next to me and when you're not, I just feel so empty."

You sat down on your bed, tears flowing down your cheeks. You twiddled with your thumbs in your lap, unable to look at James who stopped his pacing and stood in front of you. You didn't say a word. You didn't think you had any words to say.

After his rant, James looked at you. His heart ached as he watched you retreat to yourself, cowering after every word that he said. He ran to you, ignoring the warning signs that were flashing in his mind. "Y/N," he whispered, crouching down to be eye level with you, "Please look at me."

You couldn't do it. You gulped, biting your lip to stop the cries that wanted to escape. James wrapped his hands around yours, engulfing them in the familiar warmth you've missed in the time you were apart. He kneeled in front of you, his head hanging low. Neither of you said anything, the silence and the sounds of muffled cries bouncing off the walls of your dormitory.

James began to shake softly, his chest rising up and down as his tears began to drop onto the floor. You watched the wood under your feet become pooled with his tears. He placed his forehead on your knees, his lips kissing the fabric of the pajamas you wore to cover your legs.