If Only

notebooks

"cause she's gay? i think you making those assumptions is highly inappropriate" lizzie said, weirdly defending a girl she just met

"i've had enough" Robbie huffed as he stomped up the stairs and into the bedroom, closing the door rather loudly

lizzie scoffed as she made her way to the couch, she acts like this doesn't hurt her but it does when it happens so often. Robbie used to be kind, considerate and gentle, now he's only like that sometimes. mostly just as a manipulation technique but lizzie always told herself it wasn't his fault, "he's probably going through something" she always said to herself, "he's under a lot of pressure" she'd repeat throughout the day

back at your apartment you were dreaming deep, deeper than usual. your idea had worked, no thoughts about Elizabeth had come up in your dreams and you couldn't have been happier

you woke up well rested but tired, the worst mix of all. luckily you didn't have to do much today, you just had to pick up more pens and a notepad, you figured if you got new stationary you'd find it easier to write. a rookie mistake but you didn't care

after pulling yourself out of bed, getting ready and putting on light makeup since you're actually seeing the light of day today you made your way out of the house. three outings in two days, that's a new record. you wore a cream t-shirt and tucked it into some sun bleached jeans, a staple in your wardrobe

you walked to the store, it was close to your apartment and it was a nice day so
"why not" you thought

as you walked into the small shop you smelt the faint smell of ink and new paper, the sound of shuffling feet and people flicking through notebooks looking for the perfect one calmed you

you made a B-line for the notebooks, you already had like one hundred but one more couldn't possibly hurt. when you were going through all of them you heard the bell ring, indicating that someone else had walked in. you didn't look up, not really caring who had walked in that was until you heard a familiar voice

"y/n?"

you turned around, already smiling which you cursed yourself for,

"lizzie!" you said enthusiastically, not wanting her to think you were still being weird from last night

"fancy seeing you here, who would've thought i'd see a writer in a store like this" she joked, obviously testing the waters

"hm yeah, just needed a few things" you smiled back at her, gesturing to the notebooks to the side of you

"oh yeah i hear ya, i can never get enough stationary," she was nervous, which intrigued you more. "do you want to get lunch after this?" she asked, getting to know her was probably important, she was your cousins wife so it was definitely encouraged by your family or at least that's what you told yourself

"uhm yeah, yeah that sounds really nice" you smiled a proper smile now, not a forced one "i do need to find a notebook first though" you said before turning back and looking at all of them lined up again

"how about this one? you heard lizzie say as she put a notebook in your eyes view, it was a genuine leather notebook with flower carvings on it, it was what you would call the perfect notebook "you could match me" she added as she held up an almost matching one that she had under her arm

"perfect" you breathed out as you gently took the notebook from her

after purchasing your things, lizzie and you made your way down the street to a sweet little café that you normally go to. you smiled as Lizzie gasped a little when you entered, you understood why. there was a nice fireplace on one side and stairs leading up to the second level, the smell of coffee and fresh warm muffins filled your noses

you made your way to the second floor, due to lizzie being a little afraid of being recognised.

"i'd hate for this morning to be ruined by being photographed without my consent" she said as she walked up the stairs behind you

"it must be annoying, ive never even liked having my photo being taken by family or friends let alone complete strangers" you replied

"it does get old very quickly but it's okay, i just put on my sunglasses and keep my head down" she said to you as you both sat down at a table "i think i look pretty good in sunglasses anyway" she jokes as she put them on and pointed to herself with a big smile on her face

you snickered as you nodded, "yes, yes you've got that right" you smiled as you talked

"there's something about you, y/n" lizzie said as she stared at you intensely, now with the sunglasses off

"hm? is that a good thing or a bad thing?" you questioned, putting down your menu to return her stare

"definitely good, i feel comfortable around you" she replied with a smile before picking up her menu, now blocking your view from her face

"oh" you just said in reply, not really knowing what to say, well of course you wanted to say something but that annoying feeling in your stomach made it almost impossible to get anything out, "t-thank you" you added on quickly

lizzie just hummed happily in response before talking about what she was going to order and what else looked good on the small limited menu, you replied every now and then, adding to the conversation where you could

"i really enjoyed our time together, y/n. we should definitely do it a lot more" lizzie said as she held onto the banister while making her way down the stairs of the café

"i totally agree and i'd really like that" you replied quickly

you both walked out of the café already missing the comforting smells it gave you, you turned towards lizzie and smiled

"it seems it's time we go our separate ways for now" you said in a fancy British accent, trying to make her laugh and laugh she did

"it does seem so, we must meet again" she replied in an even fancier British accent

you both burst out laughing at the impromptu British accents, it felt nice to joke around

"i'll see ya later" lizzie said still laughing a little

"bye!" you said with a wave before turning around and going home, you finally had inspiration to write